Ep. 272: "Graham Is Beautiful"
Merlin: Hello.
Merlin: Hi, John.
Merlin: Hi, Merlin.
Merlin: Happy New Year.
John: Hey, happy New Year.
Merlin: Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Merlin: Oh, my God.
Merlin: Still, it's just the holiday season has really taken it out of me.
Merlin: I'm even going to get my bell.
John: Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Merlin: So much blowback for that Moana costume.
Merlin: That was a lot of emails.
Merlin: Too many remarks about the Virgin Mary.
Merlin: Oh, my God.
Merlin: And then an angry baby claiming to be God came after me.
John: An angry, cold baby, but warmed from inside, warmed from inside by the fact that it's God.
John: His righteous wrath.
Merlin: Yeah.
John: Yeah.
Merlin: So, as with our Christmas episode from the week before this one...
Merlin: We're pre-recording this, and we're here to wish you a happy 2018 from the past.
John: Oh, it's going to be a good year.
Merlin: Do you think?
Merlin: Do you really think?
Merlin: Well, you remember at the end of 2016.
Merlin: Yeah, I got real cocky around 2016.
Merlin: I was like, oh, yeah, this is finally, you know.
John: Yeah, yeah, because we were like, when will this year be over?
John: This is the worst year in history.
John: 2016 is the worst year in history, even though probably not as bad as 1915 or 1918 when an influenza or 1919 when an influenza epidemic went around the world and killed millions of people.
John: But no, 2016, even worse.
John: A lot of people didn't love 1939.
John: That's a bad year, right?
Merlin: Let's say you go June 39 to June 40.
Merlin: You know.
John: A lot of shit went down.
John: 1848 was an interesting year.
John: Like a half a dozen European revolutions deposed a bunch of royal families.
John: Oh, that was the Europe Spring?
John: That was Europe Spring number one.
John: That was a bad year.
John: 1968 was definitely a weird year.
Merlin: That was a crazy year.
Merlin: I think these kids today, they don't know from weird.
Merlin: You'll never get your head around, like, oh, you got 1865.
Merlin: You got April 1865, certainly.
Merlin: Tough year.
John: Tough year.
Merlin: April 1945, a lot happened in that one month.
Merlin: But no, yeah, I think 68 is going to, like, pound for pound in terms of, like, really looking at how people's knobs were calibrated at that time.
Merlin: 1968 was fucked up.
John: Yeah.
John: Going into 1968 and coming out of 1968, we're talking about two different worlds.
John: Yeah.
John: Right.
Merlin: Well, from Magical Mystery Tour to the White Album.
John: Right.
John: Well, and also, I was born in that year, so you go from pre-John to post-John.
Merlin: The breed of cat that my daughter would like to get, that I have no intention of getting, became acknowledged as a breed in my lifetime, 1967.
Merlin: It's some kind of big cat, right?
Merlin: Tall cat?
Merlin: It looks like a cartoon.
Merlin: If you look up exotics...
Merlin: space cat try that yeah okay it's called it's called exotic i was like honey there's no such cat as an exotic what are you talking about she's like that's the name yeah exotics is the breed of cat it's kind of like i mean i know i'll get this wrong don't email me it's kind of like a short-haired persian basically oh my god with that face look at that face look at those eyes
John: That's one of those fake cat faces.
John: That's not a real thing.
John: I know.
Merlin: I know.
Merlin: That's why it took so long to get acknowledged.
John: You know that the cat that we are trying to get is a...
John: is a Norwegian forest cat.
John: Have you ever seen a... Norwegian forest cat.
Merlin: Just look at the plumage.
Merlin: Norwegian forest cat.
Merlin: Okay.
Merlin: Look at a Norwegian forest cat.
John: That looks like a cat you don't want to mess with.
Merlin: It's kind of a black metal cat.
John: Have you ever seen Norwegian?
John: So put in Norwegian forest cat chases fox.
John: Oh, yeah.
John: Oh, look at that.
John: Oh, wow.
John: It can keep up with a fox?
John: Not only that, it can hunt a fox.
John: I mean, look at those foxes.
John: They're terrified.
John: They're terrified.
John: Look at the ears are back.
John: Oh, my God.
John: Look at the picture.
John: Do you see down a little bit in the images of a woman holding a Norwegian forest cat upside down in her arms?
John: Oh, it's like a Maine Coon.
Merlin: This is big.
John: Yeah.
John: It's a big cat.
John: I didn't realize it was that big.
John: Our cat weighs six pounds.
John: No, that cat weighs 50 pounds.
John: Oh, my God.
John: Yeah, it's enormous.
John: And it's a fox killer.
John: It's as big as a dog.
John: And so in our family, there is a desire to own one of these animals.
Hmm.
John: my mom says that she is the one who's going to buy the cat, so I get no say in what the cat is or does.
John: Wait, wait, hang on, hang on.
Merlin: Your mom is going to acquire a cat of her choosing for your household?
John: My mom feels like, A, this is one of the amazing things about a Norwegian forest cat is it is a hypoallergenic cat.
Merlin: Which is the opposite of what it sounds like.
Merlin: It means you don't get allergies to it.
Merlin: That's right.
John: You're not allergic to it because it has...
John: It has no dander, and I think the fur is like the fur of a lion.
John: So I'm like, well, I feel like the forest cat should be, and my mom is like, you don't get to say.
John: But somehow the Norwegian forest cat has not arrived on the scene yet.
John: And I'm pro-Norwegian forest cat.
John: I just feel like I want a little bit more to do with it.
John: But no, sorry.
John: That's not part of my purview.
Merlin: Do you have any way to practice by interacting with this kind of cat and seeing how you feel about its mojo?
John: I get, well, so look at their faces in these photographs.
John: They're very dignified.
John: They are.
John: They have a lot of dignity.
John: They are, I think they are largely beautiful.
Merlin: It's kind of the opposite in some ways of the cat my daughter wants.
John: Exactly.
Merlin: Even when these things are cute, they have a leonine quality.
John: Your daughter's cat does not seem like it could survive outside.
John: These cats feel like if they do deign to come inside, they come inside only to walk around and basically sit on everything to make sure you know that they are the owner.
John: They're just going to come in and take whatever they want because they can.
John: And I really approve of that.
John: I feel like there's no possible way I will not really get along with this cat.
John: I could see you sitting on a throne petting one of these.
John: And I also feel like no matter who claims to own this cat, this cat will claim me as its owner.
John: And so it will want to interact primarily with me.
John: Oh, I'm sending one I really like.
Merlin: It's one of it out in the snow.
Merlin: Look at that.
Merlin: Looking particularly like furry.
Merlin: Look at that thing.
John: And I think that there is also a Siberian version of the Norwegian forest cat.
John: Oh, yeah.
John: See, look at that cat.
John: Come on.
John: That's a good looking cat.
Merlin: That's very good.
John: It's as big as an owl, and it has paws like a catcher's mitt.
John: And it's got the bearing of a gargoyle.
John: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Merlin: It's a serious business.
John: I mean, that's the kind of cat that would keep varmints out of your yard just by energy.
John: The varmints would come within 100 meters of your house and they'd be like, hmm, I feel like I'm going to take the long way today.
Merlin: All right.
Merlin: So you're not on principle.
Merlin: You're not against your mother's decision that this is a kind of animal that's going to live in your home.
Merlin: No, I am not.
Merlin: And she's she also in charge of am I getting that she's also in charge of acquiring it?
John: Yes, but the thing about it is that these are now some kind of prized breed where if you want to buy one, you have to pay $700 or something.
John: I bet it's more than that.
John: I think $700 is what you get for a neutered and decrepit one.
Merlin: Oh, like a factory second.
John: Yeah, like something that's already hunted a bunch of foxes and has lost an ear.
John: And I'm like, look, if we're going to get one of these things, I want to get a breeding one.
John: Get a fresh one.
John: And my mom said, I want to get a kitten that I'm going to put out to stud.
John: And she says, I don't even think that you can get one that isn't neutered because they want to reserve.
John: They don't want to water down the breed.
Merlin: They're trying to constrain the supply.
Yeah.
John: Yeah.
John: They don't want like just some normal out there with a with a breeding cat.
John: So and I just feel like who are they?
John: Who are they?
John: It's a big cat.
John: I think it's a I think it's the people, the people that have decided just like there are people that go to their local Democratic Party district meeting.
John: Once a month to use Robert's rules of order on one another, just how those people that you would think are crazy train set people that just ended up instead of having train sets or shortwave radios, they go to Democratic Party meetings.
John: You think, oh, these people are nuts.
John: And then when it comes time to nominate and elect a candidate to public office, it turns out they're the ones they are like they actually accrue power to themselves because.
John: Nobody else cares enough.
John: And so it ends up that they run the Democratic Party.
John: And there are Republicans doing the same thing elsewhere.
John: And these are the people that are running the Democratic Party of Norwegian forest cats.
Merlin: Okay, all right, all right, all right.
Merlin: But this is something she's monitoring on a regular basis.
Merlin: I think so.
John: I think that she has dropped it recently because she decided she needed a new couch.
John: And so we've been going to couch stores, looking at couches.
John: And I'm the same as you.
John: I've been saying, do not get a couch that's out of scale.
John: I don't want a couch that looks like it's full of dander.
John: And this isn't a couch for me, but I'm like, this is a couch for you, but I do not want you to get the wrong couch.
John: It's really embarrassing.
John: It's embarrassing to see somebody with the wrong couch.
John: It's bad.
John: You don't want a couch that you sink into.
Merlin: You might have said this already and I'm spacing it, but what's your daughter's feeling on a cat?
Merlin: What does she want?
John: i mean has she been i might have spaced this but has she been asking for a cat a lot no fortunately for me here are the things that that i used to be afraid of that have not come to pass okay she has never pestered about a pet she said periodically that she wants a pet
John: But she drops it immediately.
Merlin: But she doesn't have a mood board of all the same breed of cat and she cries that she doesn't have one.
John: No.
John: She doesn't want a pony.
John: She doesn't want a dog.
John: She's just fine with not having a pet.
John: If someone brings up a pet, she's not against it.
John: But never I get pestered about a pet.
John: And I get pestered about a lot of things.
John: I get pestered about a little baby brother or a little baby sister all the freaking time.
John: Oh, no.
John: Really?
John: Really, really, really wants a sibling.
John: So, like, she thinks about it when she's by herself.
John: Like, it's a thing.
John: And I keep saying, like, by the time the sibling arrives, you're going to be like nine.
John: Yeah, you don't want that.
John: If I was able to manage it.
John: And she's like, baby sister, baby brother.
John: It's all she cares about.
John: And I think what she thinks she's going to get is a five-year-old.
John: And I'm like, no, it would be a baby.
John: You'd have to do like you'd have to.
John: We would press you into service, my dear.
John: Oh, yeah.
John: But I think that she just has it in her.
John: She wants one.
John: She wants to care for a baby.
John: So I get pestered about that.
John: But the other thing that I worried about for years was screen time.
John: You know, we're all told screen time, screen time, screen time.
John: Right.
John: Oh, you got to limit their screen time.
John: Yep.
John: And she has almost zero screen time and never pesters.
John: She doesn't want...
John: a gizmo she never is like i want to watch tv she never says i mean she does like to watch every once in a while we have some exercises that she does and if she is doing them she wants to watch a video okay but uh exercises like physical fitness exercises yeah well physical therapy uh-huh
John: And we have videos that she watches and they are videos that she's watched for a long time.
John: It's not like they're new ones.
John: She doesn't want to watch.
John: Oh, except recently she has wanted to see, um, she's wanted to watch singing in the rain.
Merlin: Oh, that's a great movie.
Merlin: My daughter loves that movie.
John: Yeah.
John: So she wants to watch it's a great movie and she wants to watch tap dancing and she wants to watch people dancing in the rain.
John: Oh, one person in particular.
John: Hmm.
John: Um, Jean, Jean Kelly.
John: That's right.
John: Okay.
John: All right.
John: All right.
John: She wants to watch Jean Kelly dance in the rain.
John: Uh, but she also, you know, she has these videos that she watches, but, but there's never been a moment where she has come home and I, I, and I know all of her classmates all have a million things, all the little, uh, little characters and, you know, like Lego movie and her best friend, um,
John: uh, from the time she was two years old was watching like three Disney movies a day.
John: Yeah.
John: Well, that was, that used to be a bit of a thing where you would just put in Pinocchio every afternoon.
John: It's just the thing you would do.
John: Yeah.
John: Well, and I think, I think her little best pal would watch Pinocchio and then either watch it again or watch, uh, watch frozen over and over and over and over and over.
John: But she, uh,
John: just doesn't show any interest in it.
John: She just never, she never says, why don't I have a, she never says, why doesn't daddy own a TV?
John: Um, she never says, why don't I have my own iPad pod?
John: She doesn't ever say, I wish I could watch frozen right now.
John: She just doesn't.
John: And so this year, my mom had an old iPhone iPhone.
John: And she said, what if I cleaned the iPhone and we just put like some videos on it and we gave it to her for Christmas and it was hers.
John: And I thought about it.
John: You know, initially I was like, that's a good idea, mom.
John: But then I thought about it and I was like,
John: Well, she's never asked for it.
John: Right.
Merlin: And we would be introducing... It's not so far off my position on Barbie, where it's like, well, if she really wants a Barbie, I'm open to that, but I'm also not going to go out of my way to make it an option that she's aware of.
John: Yeah, why take it and be like, here's a vice you didn't know about.
John: It's like saying, you know what we're going to get her this year?
John: A pack of cigarettes.
John: Yeah.
Merlin: I mean, who knows?
Merlin: She might like it.
John: Yeah.
John: Yeah.
John: You know, she won't know until she tries.
John: Yeah.
John: So I don't get pestered about the about things that I worried about getting pestered about.
John: I don't really have a good answer for why she doesn't have a little brother or a little sister.
John: I don't have a I don't have a good answer for why mommy and daddy aren't married.
John: Really?
John: Yeah.
John: I mean, not I mean, I have I have plenty of answers.
John: Mm hmm.
John: But not an answer that satisfies her.
John: Oh, okay.
John: Because she's like, hmm, I'm listening to all of your, I'm listening to your thoughts and reasons, but I still don't see a reason to, you know, that's better than why don't you guys just get married?
John: Like, okay, I hear all your things, but none of that seems to preclude you getting married.
John: And I'm like, hmm, well, I guess, you know, in a way, you're right.
John: There isn't anything keeping mommy and daddy from getting married, except for daddy.
John: Well...
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John: But we've also established that ignoring daddy is certainly one of the things that we do in this family.
John: Oh, brother.
John: So, but I'm lucky.
Merlin: I don't know.
Merlin: I mean, in some ways, though, it's not so different from the cat thing where I pushed back on the cat thing for years because, you know, I don't know.
Merlin: I mean, I was acting like a real 50s dad where I was like, no, like, we're not going to get this thing because it's cute.
Merlin: You can't even keep track of your purple space pen.
Merlin: Like, we're not going to just go get this thing because it's cute.
Merlin: Like, think of this more like adding a new member to the family.
Merlin: Like, you know, and I unfortunately for once in my entire life, why did I have to be right about this?
Merlin: It has been very costly to have this animal.
Merlin: It has been a huge pain in the ass.
Merlin: We love the cat, but it has been like we we got sold a bill of goods on this cat.
Merlin: Like she was sold to us as like, oh, you know, she's six or seven and she's fine.
Merlin: We just had her checked out.
Merlin: Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
Merlin: I don't want to tell you what we spent on this cat, but we've had four teeth removed.
Merlin: That's just one thing.
Merlin: The cat has had an echocardiogram.
Merlin: She's had heart work done.
Merlin: She's had a lot done.
Merlin: We have to get all the junk scooped out of her ears regularly.
John: Sir, I think it's electrocardiograms.
Merlin: she's had some kind of cardiogram all i'm telling you these people bullshit and so they oh yeah we had her checked out and i'm like yeah well you know the vet that just gave us this four-figure bill a month after we got her would make me think maybe she wasn't quite so checked out six years old my ass this cat's easily 10 she doesn't do anything really yes but
Merlin: But you love her.
Merlin: Yes, I've decided I love her.
Merlin: The other two do love her very, very much.
Merlin: I like her a lot.
Merlin: No, I do.
Merlin: She's fine.
Merlin: But, you know, I think when you go into that, you have to be prepared for the worst.
Merlin: I hate to sound like some kind of flyover state evangelical here, but life is precious in God and the Bible.
Merlin: You get the cat you get.
Merlin: You don't go to war with the Russell that you like.
Merlin: It's just the cat that you get.
Merlin: You don't get upset.
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: And so then you just say, like, this is part of our family.
Merlin: We do what we need to do to take care of this.
Merlin: We're giving this cat a good life.
Merlin: We took it away from its lying owners that it had before, and it doesn't get beat up by the other mean cat.
Merlin: It doesn't get beat up by mean cat anymore.
John: And so you're saying that this cat is effectively like you bought a muff, and the muff just sits and costs money.
Merlin: Yes.
Merlin: Imagine you got, like, a very costly muff that has to have teeth removed every once in a while.
Merlin: And then occasionally, just at 3 in the morning, for no reason, it goes, meh!
John: Up to 13 times I've counted.
John: I think that that's actually the signal that a nuclear war is imminent.
John: It's a caxon.
John: Or, did I say nuclear or nuclear?
Merlin: Nuclear.
John: But you walked right over my caxon joke.
Merlin: that's a good good joke but she my daughter has a national geographic book she got out of the library at school about cats so now she's schooling me on a lot of things she says the reason that savvy grinds her teeth uh is because she hangs has anxiety and the reason that she's she's lonely at night and she wants people to hang out that's why she meows at night
Merlin: She's lonely.
Merlin: Yeah, she's got a lot of scientific reasons.
Merlin: Oh, and she also keeps rereading me the part about how you introduce a second cat to the house.
Merlin: And I said, you know what?
Merlin: I'm pretty good on that.
Merlin: Pretty good.
Merlin: Yes, I know.
Merlin: Carrier goes in the bathroom.
Merlin: You close the door.
Merlin: You have to treat them equitably.
Merlin: That's all very interesting stuff.
Merlin: So she knows about Dark Vader, but she's not begging for screen time.
John: Nope.
John: She's never seen a Dark Vader movie.
John: She just knows that Dark Vader is cool.
Merlin: She's at an age where she's going to be, I mean, like, my kid is pretty super deeply infused in popular culture.
Merlin: But, like, I see, like, today, I was just that when we went for the ukulele share out today.
Merlin: You know, there's kids that are doing their Pokemon cards.
Merlin: Everybody's wearing Minecraft shirts.
Merlin: Like, she's got to be surrounded by kids who are getting much more of that stuff than she is, I'm guessing.
Merlin: She is.
Merlin: I guess what I'm saying is she doesn't feel left out, it sounds like.
John: Well, her perception is...
John: And this is a perception that she has derived from school entirely.
John: I have never influenced this at all.
John: In fact, I've worked to influence it in the opposite direction.
John: But she feels like Pokemon and Minecraft and a lot of these sort of consumer, like games and toys that are based on
John: buying something or interacting with a machine or in some other way, collecting things that those are boy games.
John: Oh, interesting.
John: Okay.
John: And she's interested in like Pokemon as a concept.
John: Yeah.
John: As a,
John: Like a character that has a narrative But when you think about it those things don't really have a narrative.
John: There's not exactly a Pokemon narrative.
John: It's just like collect them all They all have backstories, but it's not like there's a it's not like they're participating in a story and Minecraft is an extension of Legos and she's only now fully getting
John: into Legos because before she would take the Legos and only put them together at the very minimum amount that she could start constructing a narrative around it.
John: Oh, that's super interesting.
John: Yeah.
John: She put three Legos together and she'd be like, this is the house.
John: And then she'd put another Lego on top of another Lego and she'd say, this is the car.
John: Wow.
John: And I was like, well, Hey, why don't we build, you know, like we could actually build a house that has rooms.
John: And she's like, I don't think you heard me.
John: This is the house.
John: And I'm like, I cannot interrupt you, you know, like by all means.
John: So only now is she starting to actually build structures where she's like, this is the garage and this is the bedroom and so forth.
John: Um,
John: And so Minecraft isn't a thing that she has sought because like Legos themselves are still just part of like her building a narrative.
John: And so for her, the only interesting toys and like things –
John: are ones that she can adopt or she can either adopt into a narrative that she's constructing or she can build a narrative around them.
John: Right.
John: And little things and gizmos.
John: And I think she, I think movies even for her.
John: And this is, you know, honestly, this is how my mind works too.
John: Like consuming media has always been a problem for me based on, I think,
John: The idea of like, well, why would I want to watch somebody else's imagination?
John: Yeah, that makes sense.
John: You know, why wouldn't I just follow my own imagination?
John: I can make a movie in my head.
John: Why would I want to go watch somebody else's movie?
John: Absolutely.
John: And so I think she's doing I mean, you know, she's pretty much like, you know, because now she's at an age where I can say, well, she she comes out and she's like,
John: And I can say, you know what?
John: Here's an idea.
John: Why don't we go to our rooms?
John: I'll go to my room and you go to your room and you can play and I'll play.
John: And then later on, we'll come play because the way she wants to play with me is she wants to play Kung Fu.
John: which is Kung Fu is jump on daddy and try to kick him in the balls.
John: Okay.
John: Okay.
John: That's the, that's, that's how, that's how Kung Fu works.
John: And so daddy doesn't always want to play Kung Fu because daddy gets injured in Kung Fu and you know, and she's six and a half.
John: I can't really fight back.
John: Yeah.
John: You know, um,
John: So I just get beat up.
John: But all by way of saying, everything that she's interested in is narrative play.
John: And there's not a ton of, not even a ton of like what I used to play, which was like war.
John: Like my narrative play with other kids was always like, you are the bad guys and I am the good guy or vice versa.
John: Did she play that at school too?
John: I don't think she...
Merlin: Does she have allies that will play like that at school with her?
John: Yeah, but it's a constant thing.
John: uh where i think the other little girls also feel like they don't want marlo to just establish what the narration is oh that's that's that's a constant battle and i mean that's really the basis of what makes plays so interesting as an observer is how much negotiation is going on about what the terms of this play are yep yep and her little friend's
John: She's got a little group where she says, well, my friends are Aiden, Aiden, Aiden, and Aiden.
John: But Aiden is not my friend.
John: And I go, why is Aiden not your friend?
John: Well, because Aiden is mean.
John: But then two days later, she's like, well, I was playing with Aiden.
John: And I'm like, oh, you're friends with Aiden now?
John: Oh, Aiden's the best.
John: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
John: Those alliances shift very quickly.
Merlin: They do.
John: And I think it's a lot to do with who is currently resisting Aiden.
John: her uh like implementation of a narrative and who is currently like yeah okay i'll be the i'll be the fireman and you be the dog or whatever uh but she's got she's got you know her little boyfriend is graham okay is that okay and she says yeah and she says graham's her boyfriend okay and i really approve
John: Because I think Graham is beautiful.
John: I think he's beautiful.
John: I think he's a beautiful boy.
John: He's beautiful looking and he's beautiful.
John: He's just wonderful inside.
John: He's a very sensitive young person who has a lot of connection to his feelings.
Merlin: Oh, that's nice.
John: That's a nice influence.
John: It's nice.
John: The first time I met him, it was in a group of little boys and I was going around and I was like, okay, you're Aiden and you're Aiden and you're Aiden.
John: And then it came to Graham and he held out his hand
John: And some little boy in the group said, call him Graham Cracker.
John: And Graham looked me in the eye and he said, please don't call me Graham Cracker.
Merlin: I love Graham already.
John: I said, Graham, you are guaranteed that I will never, ever, ever call you Graham Cracker.
John: And he was like, mm-hmm.
John: And so he and she...
John: Decided a long time ago that they were boyfriend and girlfriend and they both agree to it.
John: And it does not seem to have that doesn't seem to change it.
John: That alliance never breaks.
John: And she will say things like, well, you know, Graham does like to play Pokemon and war and that's fine.
John: But Graham is Superman and I am Supergirl when it's time to play superheroes.
Merlin: So she's really already reached the level of somebody who's been married for 15 years.
Merlin: She's reached a level of accommodation.
Merlin: Like as long as he's still willing to be Superman to me, he can go out, run off and do his war.
John: Right.
John: And he will occasionally, and I get the feeling maybe a little bit against his will, but he accommodates her by sometimes being the dad or the dog or whatever she decides he is.
Right.
John: in her own narration.
Merlin: But they don't do... What's the martial arts thing you two do?
John: They don't do kung fu, I don't think.
John: They don't do kung fu.
John: Okay, good, good.
John: But I don't get the sense that any of the Aidens are interested at all in her narrative play.
John: You know, if she's like, you're the dog, they say...
John: I'm the Dark Vader dog.
John: And she's like, that's not the game.
John: And they're like, see ya.
John: And they swing off on their little boy vines and kick each other.
John: So anyway, I feel like when she's 30, I hope she's still...
John: I hope Graham is still around because I think he's great.
John: And I like Graham's parents.
Merlin: See, we talked about this a few episodes ago, probably back in November.
Merlin: But, boy, I'm often wanting to set things up where I'm really hoping, like, boy, don't you want to hang out with her?
Merlin: She seems pretty cool.
Merlin: That's a pretty cool little kid.
John: She looks you in the eye and shakes your hand.
John: Uh-huh, uh-huh.
John: And sometimes you try and force that and they're like, nah, not really into it.
John: Get it on the wrong day.
John: Yeah.
John: Yeah.
John: The one thing currently, because we just went to play yesterday at someone's house she'd never played at before.
John: And I said, she said, I made a new friend.
John: And I said, oh, who's your new friend?
John: And it was like Aiden.
John: Except Aiden's all the way down.
John: It's Aiden's all the way down.
John: And this is girl Aiden.
John: And I said, oh, where did you meet her?
John: And she said, oh, she's in my class.
John: And I said, what do you mean you made a new friend?
John: There's only 20 people in your class.
John: Didn't you play with her before?
John: And she said, no, I never really played with her.
Merlin: Wow.
Merlin: My daughter still doesn't know the name of everybody in her class.
Merlin: Yeah, isn't that crazy?
Merlin: And I thought it was just her.
Merlin: Like, I mean, I know I'm bad with names, but damn, when I was 10, I knew everybody.
Merlin: I knew the name of every person in my grade.
John: Well, I feel like I know every kid in her class.
John: Yeah.
John: But she's like, no, I never just.
John: And I said, and so I'm curious about alliances.
John: And I said, well, who are Aiden's friends?
John: And she said, oh, she kind of plays with Aiden and Aiden.
John: Yeah, but not the other Aiden.
John: But not the other Aiden and not with me.
John: And I said, who are the friends who cross the border?
John: And she said, oh, well, Mila, but Mila plays with everybody.
John: Okay.
John: And I swear to you, I love Mila, too.
John: That may not be a compliment, though.
John: Mila, no, no, no.
John: Mila is the ultimate...
John: peacemaking.
John: Because the thing is, everybody wants to play with Mila because she's fascinating.
Merlin: So she could be like a dog or a nurse or a horse or a chair.
Merlin: She could be whatever's needed for the play situation.
John: Whatever.
John: But she also is someone who, if she decides that she's going to skip two rings on the rings, she will do it until her hands are bleeding.
John: Oh, I like Mila.
John: She's fantastic.
John: And she's just like, and I like Mila's parents too.
John: But Mila is one where if a kid is crying,
John: Mila will go find out what's wrong and will comfort the child.
John: And she'll skip rings.
John: She's going to skip two rings.
John: She's a utility player.
John: Wow.
John: And everybody, you know, when Mila's trying to skip two rings, there's a crowd because they want to see it.
John: They want to see it, too.
Merlin: It could be a NASCAR situation.
Merlin: Mm-hmm.
John: Okay.
John: But also, lately.
John: Mila has been experiencing some separation anxiety when her mom leaves the school in the morning.
John: Oh, no.
John: And I saw this fantastic thing the other day, which was that it was time for Mila's mom to leave.
John: And, you know, Mila's mom does the thing where she hangs around.
John: Whereas, you know, I would say the first time it happened, I'd be like, well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.
John: But, you know, Mila's mom is like, well, I don't want to leave either.
John: But so Mila was having a little separation anxiety and all the kids huddled around her and like petted her hair and whispered to her and told her it was fine.
John: This is not a thing that would have happened in my school when I was a kid.
John: And they're just so caring of one another.
Merlin: So that photo I sent you at Ukulele Share Out, that's Ellie on the right.
Merlin: That's a friend of hers on our left who just got over chickenpox.
Merlin: Poor thing.
Merlin: She was out for a week.
Merlin: She's very much that kid, the girl in the pinkish sweatshirt.
Merlin: So you recognize Ellie on the right.
Merlin: So that's a really good friend of hers who's exactly like that.
Merlin: Like she will not only, it's not like she walks up and goes, are you okay?
Merlin: Like she will walk up to a little kid and speak quietly to the little kid and like try to comfort and soothe the kid on their own terms.
Merlin: She's a genuinely high quality child.
Merlin: I think that stuff is just lovely.
John: It's rare.
John: So we're at this play date.
John: How many boys you know that do that?
John: Well, you know, I think that they're actually.
John: Don't call him Graham Cracker, but yeah.
John: Graham would do it.
John: Graham would do it.
Mm-hmm.
John: But so we're at a play date yesterday with her new friend who's been in her school for two years and is in her class.
John: And the girl Aiden.
John: Yeah.
John: Yeah.
John: And I'm like, tell me more about her.
John: And she's like, well, you know, she's got little brother and we had we drew rainbows and we drew rainbows and unicorns.
John: And I'm like, sweetie, I don't you know, like I don't want to be the one.
John: to tell you, but I have to, that's a Peg, that's a Pegasus.
John: And she said, it's a unicorn.
John: And I said, sweetie, it doesn't have a horn.
John: It has wings.
John: And she said, it's a unicorn.
John: And I was like, unicorn it is, but I'm, but I'm not going to budge on this baby.
John: That's a Pegasus.
John: But I guess they talk about unicorns a lot and they do not talk about Pegasi.
Merlin: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Merlin: You're not going to hear about a chimera or a manticore or any of that stuff.
John: They just don't come up.
John: I feel like I'm going to have to give her the monster manual.
Merlin: I gave her a book about she's very into old stuff, ancient stuff.
Merlin: I gave her a thought.
Merlin: It wasn't a bullfinches, but I got her an illustrated mythology book that I was kind of hoping she'd get a bite on.
Merlin: But she hasn't bitten yet.
Merlin: I do that a lot.
Merlin: I sneak books in.
Merlin: Yeah, me too.
Merlin: I have about one for five on sneaking books in.
Merlin: But I think we get her too many books.
Merlin: She reads a lot of books, but we probably get her too many.
Merlin: She does have stuff she hasn't read.
Merlin: But yeah, I do try to sneak those in.
Merlin: Lord of the Rings took, Hobbit took.
Merlin: I still have not read either of those books, but they read it together.
Merlin: They've read every Harry Potter book together.
Merlin: She's read all a series of unfortunate events.
Merlin: Yeah.
John: I kept trying to get Beatrix Potter, I kept trying to get into her shelf, and she just wasn't into it.
John: But I did start reading her Rudyard Kipling Just So story.
Merlin: Really?
Merlin: Are those problematic?
Merlin: Because...
John: Well, so I just changed the problematic parts.
John: Okay.
John: And the thing is that she can read.
John: So she's reading over my shoulder, but she doesn't correct me when I, you know, when I take out the, you know, whatever he'd like his little stuff where he's like, and then the little Jigaboo.
Merlin: I was going to say, I'm guessing he has problematic nouns.
Merlin: Guessing.
John: There are a couple of stories which are just deeply problematic from the beginning, which are his sort of white man's burden stories.
Merlin: You think this is hard for you?
Merlin: Do you have any idea what I'm going through?
Merlin: I'm white, and I have to be here taking care of you.
John: yeah yeah he's got he's got he's got a couple but i grew up having those stories read to me because as you know i was raised by victorian and so like the things that i had all the all the books that uh were on my shelves as a kid all had swastikas on them because they were all they were all published in 1895 uh when indian swastikas
John: Yeah.
John: Indian swastikas where it was just, it was just an, it was just an emblem.
Merlin: The counterclockwise kind.
John: Yeah.
John: That conveyed, it was an emblem that conveyed exotic, uh, you know, like Orientalism rather than, uh, it was pre, pre-Nazi backwards swastikas.
John: But so I were, I was read all that stuff, you know, how the, how the rhinoceros got its plates and the cat that walked by its wild loan.
John: And, um,
John: And so I could not not read those things to her.
John: I just have to take out.
John: Yeah, it's just like taking the the like the Belgian Congo issues of Tintin out of the shelves and.
John: And anyone where Tintin interacts with anyone from Asia.
Merlin: Oh, we mainly know the movie.
Merlin: I've never read the comics.
Merlin: We have all the books.
John: When I was a kid.
Merlin: Does he really go to the moon in one of those?
John: He does.
John: That's cool.
John: In fact, we have a giant poster on her wall of Tintin going to the moon.
John: But it's a copy of the Belgian cover.
John: So it's in French.
John: Um, because when I was a kid, I had the Tintin books, but they were all in French.
John: And so I couldn't... And had swastikas on them.
John: I couldn't read the stories.
John: Because my father's book plate.
John: Because I inherited them from my great-uncle Al, and I called him Aberdabber.
John: And Aberdabber would sit me on his knee, and he would tell me stories of World War I when I was little.
John: And Aberdabber was already an old man and so didn't
John: always know what the appropriate stories to tell about world war one were but he was yes you know a junior officer in the american expeditionary force and he had lots of tales of being in france and all the can can girls and then occasionally had to throw some grenades over his liver in my hand and he was a tough one that's right well they were they were the gurkhas they came from india
John: And and he had all the Tintin books in that were from Belgium that were all in French and I was given access to them.
John: But but it was all like I had to piece together the stories.
John: And we give her the Tintin books in English, but we definitely call the ones that are like, Tintin goes to China.
John: And there are these, you know, like little coolies that are like, oh, it's just like, no, no, I can't.
John: Sorry.
John: But most of them, she's going to the moon.
John: I mean, Captain Haddock is a drunk.
John: Oh, in the movie, yeah.
John: He's a real dangerous character.
John: Well, and even more so in the books, he's always hiding liquor bottles in hollowed-out Bibles and stuff.
John: And when I read the books to her...
John: You know, I'm always reading Haddock as like... He's Andy Serkis in the movie.
John: Not surprisingly.
John: Oh, really?
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: But how do you deal with, like, well, Captain Haddock snuck off... Sometimes you just gotta plow through it, and other times... If it's something that's really just gross and unnecessarily, unusefully, unnarratively useful, just racist bullshit, you gotta just cut it out.
Merlin: But sometimes... Okay, so one of our go-tos... My wife, whom you've met...
Merlin: She is generally the reader at night.
Merlin: I'm the reader at other times.
Merlin: But when we do read, I probably should read to her more at this time, but that's their time.
Merlin: But I don't know how quite this started, but I was remembering stories from a child's humor book.
Merlin: It was Bennett Cerf's House of Laughter.
Merlin: It was just edited by Bennett Cerf, but it was just a bunch of humor stories.
Merlin: It included one by James Thurber called The Night the Bed Fell.
Merlin: And I ended up going to iBooks and buying this giant collection of Thurber short fiction.
Merlin: And we've read all of, what's this, I forget what the name of it is, but the one that's all his recollections of being a child and young person in Columbus, Ohio.
Merlin: Did you ever read The Night the Bed Fell?
Merlin: No.
Merlin: But, like, here's an example.
Merlin: Do you mind if I just read you, like, you don't want to cut this out.
Merlin: It happened then that my father, this is the second paragraph of the story, it happened then that my father had decided to sleep in the attic one night.
Merlin: And this is how I read it, like, very breezily.
Merlin: I'm walking around and reading.
Merlin: It happened then that my father decided to sleep in the attic one night to be a way where he could think.
Merlin: My mother opposed the notion strongly because, she said, the old wooden bed up there was unsafe.
Merlin: It was wobbly, and the heavy headboard would crash down on father's head in case the bed fell and kill him.
Merlin: There was no dissuading him, however, and at a quarter past ten, he closed the attic door behind him and went up the narrow, twisting stairs.
Merlin: We later heard ominous creakings as he crawled into bed.
Merlin: Grandfather, who usually slept in the attic bed when he was with us, had disappeared some days before.
Merlin: On these occasions, he was usually gone six or eight days and returned growling and out of temper with the news that the Federal Union was run by a parcel of blockheads and that the Army of the Potomac didn't have any more chance than a fiddler's bitch.
Merlin: I love James Thurber!
Merlin: And it's so fun.
Merlin: The Army of the Potomac didn't have any more chance than a fiddler's bitch.
Merlin: And I had to go look up what that meant.
John: And he's right about the Army of the Potomac.
Merlin: Oh, but he's a character that keeps coming up.
Merlin: Grandfather is, I don't know, what does one say?
Merlin: He's delusional.
Merlin: And some days he thinks it's still the war.
Yeah.
Merlin: Anyway, these kinds of things are so fun.
Merlin: Now there's one, it's a wonderful story, but it's the one that I have the most, like, I'm not so sure about this.
Merlin: What is it called?
Merlin: It's the one with all the maids in it.
Merlin: A sequence of servants is very funny.
Merlin: When I look back on the long list of servants my mother hired during the years I lived at home, I remember clearly 10 or 12 of them.
Merlin: And he's doing black maids in a black maid voice.
Merlin: And I struggle with how to do it.
Merlin: And so I generally try to steer away from this particular one.
Merlin: about the flood the flood that never happened when the dam broke but it hadn't actually broken it's just i'm sorry i'm not why i'm going off i'm just sharing this i i i check out james thurber it's very fun to read with the kid because the language is so musical and he's he's such a i don't know i just love his style i i crave stuff like that i do too and i don't i feel like a lot of the a lot of the material that's written for kids today are kind of like the cartoons no i'm not talking about like
John: Adventure time, but like the mainstream cartoons that are made that seem like mostly they're designed to sell figures, figurines.
John: I feel like there is a decided lack of actual material in them.
John: There's a lot of talking, a lot of fast talking.
John: And people are like, oh, my God, here she comes.
John: What is she doing?
John: The story beats are pretty simple and plain.
John: super plain.
Merlin: But there's so much noise, so much strum and drum about like... She loves stuff like Gumball and Teen Titans Go, and there's just screaming is just a huge part of every episode.
John: There's lots of screaming.
John: Yeah, and I have always felt like, look, we want stories, not just characters with unnaturally large heads and eyes who are screaming at each other.
John: You don't want Bratz dolls.
John: I don't at all.
John: I don't want them anywhere around.
John: You do not prefer it.
John: I do not prefer it.
John: I do not want the Bratz dolls even to be in her mind.
John: I know.
John: Because, like, they're dolls for children that are wearing garter belts.
John: Yeah.
John: So I do keep coming back to these stories of old.
John: Uh, where, you know, but in the stories of old, like children's stories from when I was growing up, it's like, and then the dog died and the worms ate him.
John: It's like, wow, that's, I don't remember it being so hard.
John: Like, so I remember crying at where the red fern grows.
John: They're like Watership Down.
John: Old Yeller.
Merlin: Old Yeller killed me.
John: There's a lot of sad stories for little kids.
John: I've never showed her Bambi because she still covers her eyes when people yell at each other.
John: The thing is, she's aware of Bambi.
John: She's asked me, what happened to Bambi's mom?
John: I'm like, what happened to Bambi's mom?
John: Where did this come from?
John: I feel like either she's heard about Bambi's mom
John: Or maybe she was at some friend's house and she saw some Bambi.
John: But she's like, what happened to Bambi's mom?
John: And I'm like, uh, Bambi's mom died.
John: She's like, how did Bambi's mom died?
John: And I say, well, baby's mom died until she died in a fire.
John: Baby's mom was game, sweetheart.
John: Yeah, it's pretty bad.
John: She was a game deer.
John: And, you know, she didn't want to watch Dumbo because there's so much sadness in Dumbo.
John: The trunk coming through.
John: Oh, that's rough.
John: Believe you me.
John: So I'm and I often start to read a story to her.
John: And then about three quarters of the way through, I'm like, oh, no.
John: We've been leading up to a tragedy that I had forgotten.
John: And I'm bumbling along like, and then the little bugs went into, oh, dear, they went into the furnace.
John: Oh, dear.
John: So, but I want you to tell me.
John: Yeah.
John: I want you to give me some advice.
John: She's very interested in the Harry Potter universe.
Yeah.
John: And I want to start reading her Harry Potters.
John: Is that acceptable for a seven year old?
John: And do I start at the start?
Merlin: The second part is absolutely just because they it's much lighter.
Merlin: They're 11 years old in the first one.
Merlin: And it's it's much it's it gets pretty heavy after the really kind of but definitely starting with the third book.
Merlin: It gets the stakes get a lot higher and it gets a lot creepier.
Merlin: And by the end, it is it is well and truly like very scary.
Merlin: Well, I would suggest I know you've read some.
Merlin: Did you read it in the hold of a ship at some point?
Merlin: Didn't you read some?
John: I read all of the Harry Potter books that were extant.
Merlin: in 2000 i would say what i would say is for yourself just go and get philosopher to get sorcerer's stone and um read the first chapter to to yourself and see what you think about it but it's really quite good and great to read with a kid i mean i'm saying something that's so silly it's like saying well i don't know you think my my curious kid who likes to build things will like legos and i'm like i probably i
Merlin: No, it's really, I mean, it gets the plaudits that it gets because it actually is really good and fun and pretty great for a kid.
Merlin: And like I say, the world building in the first one is so fun.
Merlin: It's not a short book, but you'll know by the end if she's going to be into this.
Merlin: You might know in the first chapter, by the time they get to Hogwarts, the world building is pretty terrific.
Merlin: I mean, just even getting to the train platform and all of that and Hagrid and London and all of that, it's so fun.
Merlin: I think maybe one of the things... My short advice is go and you personally, maybe out loud to yourself when no one is home, start reading the first chapter at CFC if you like it, but also if there's anything there that really curls your hair.
Merlin: I think... She's what?
Merlin: She's seven?
John: Yeah, well, six and three quarters.
Merlin: I mean, you know, it's up to judgment, but I imagine you'd be fine.
John: Yeah.
John: The thing maybe I worry about the most is that when I was young... You know, I was born on Friday the 13th.
John: Oh, boy.
John: And when I was a kid...
John: Other kids ascribed to me magic.
John: I was thought of as a little bit of a kid sorcerer, which I loved.
John: And it wasn't a thing that I encouraged.
John: It was like I was born on Friday the 13th.
John: And then there's something about me that seems like maybe a kind of young magic user.
John: But as I grew older, I started to think of myself as actually being some kind of magic.
John: You thought about conjuring an orb.
John: I thought about it all the time.
John: And it was... It was...
John: For sure, I don't think it was a problem, but it did occupy a lot of my imagination.
John: And there was always a tinge of disappointment to it that I wasn't actually magic.
John: that I couldn't actually, like, create spooky action at a distance.
Merlin: And it doesn't, the thing is that realization doesn't land on you in one day.
Merlin: It begins with doubt.
Merlin: But, like, still, isn't there still some, you're weighing doubt versus hope that there is still something here, in my case, that I could, like, move something or, like, read a mind or something like that?
Merlin: You're still kind of like, maybe, oh, is there evidence to show the next car that comes along will be blue?
Merlin: And you're like, oh, got that one right.
John: Like, there's, I might be better at this than I realize.
John: And for sure, it feels like a thing.
John: Oh, maybe it's like puberty.
John: Yes.
John: I'll come in with the X-Men.
Merlin: That's when mutants mostly discover their curse or ability, depending on how you look at it.
John: And yeah, and that's kind of, I think, maybe what my...
John: feeling what when i was introduced to x-men where there was a little bit of bitterness about it where i was like oh yeah great sure so you can kill people with your cold hands but i can't even conjure an orb which seems like small you're asking so little yeah yeah i don't want to kill anybody no i just want to like i just want to make some fire i would like something round to appear where it wasn't before is that too much to ask
John: Hold out my hand.
John: I would sit and do it.
John: Hold out my hand.
Merlin: Come on.
Merlin: Come on.
Merlin: In this $3,000 suit?
Merlin: But you could even put your hands out there.
Merlin: Imagine in this area between my two hands like this, this is where it will appear.
Merlin: I can almost feel it.
John: Little fucking orb is all I'm asking.
John: All I'm asking.
John: And so I don't know if I want to introduce to her the idea that there are magic kids and non-magic kids.
John: And the non-magic kids are sucky...
John: Like muggles and the magic kids are magic and they can fly on brooms and they can conjure orbs because it just because I remember feeling disappointment about it.
John: And that wasn't even that wasn't even we didn't even have Harry Potter.
John: I was just making that disappointment up in my own head because I was born on Friday the 13th.
Merlin: There's so many ugly racist terms in Harry Potter.
Merlin: You know, mudblood.
Merlin: You know one that's awful is if you're the child, well, you could be a grown-up now, but at least one or possibly both of your parents were wizards, but you're not.
Merlin: You know what you're called?
Merlin: Oh, no.
Merlin: A squib.
Merlin: Isn't that sad?
Merlin: You can have wizard parents and not inherit wizardism?
Merlin: Yeah, well, so, like, in the case of Harry, both of his parents were wizards.
Merlin: Both Harry and... What was his father's name?
Merlin: But Lily and... Don't email me.
Merlin: But they were both... I think his name's Scott.
Merlin: I think his father's name is Scott.
Merlin: Anyway, both of Harry's parents were... That's going to drive me crazy now.
Merlin: Were wizards.
Merlin: Hermione, only one of her parents was a wizard.
Merlin: So she's called a mudblood.
Merlin: James.
Merlin: James Potter.
Yeah.
Merlin: Cut that out.
Merlin: James and Lily Potter.
Merlin: And then, so Mudblood is what the terrible Slytherin kid, what's his name?
Merlin: Draco Malfoy.
Merlin: But then you got somebody, you got these characters, you got like Filch, like the guy who works, that wonderful British actor who plays kind of like the janitor at Hogwarts.
Merlin: He's a squib.
Merlin: Squib.
Merlin: A squib.
Merlin: You can still be in the community, but everybody's like, squib.
Merlin: These are tough words.
Merlin: Argus Filch.
John: He's known as a squib.
John: These are tough, tough words.
John: I mean, this is what I worry about.
John: I don't want to introduce all this social hierarchy because she's developing...
Merlin: social hierarchy on her own and i don't need it i don't need her to suddenly say that nino is a squib or mud blood yeah i totally agree i totally agree so i don't know it's it's tricky yeah you know i i i feel like you probably could wait another year but you know she's probably a little young but as long as you don't jump straight into like third fourth book that's when it gets creepy well
John: And so what about The Hobbit?
John: I'm trying to remember.
John: There's a lot of scary shit.
John: There's the ogres.
John: There's the Nazgûl.
Merlin: Yeah, I haven't read it.
Merlin: They read it.
Merlin: Did they read it before Lord of the Rings?
Merlin: I don't remember.
Merlin: Oh, wait.
John: Are there Nazgûls or Nazgûls or whatever?
Merlin: I don't know.
John: Are they in The Hobbit or do they just appear in The Lord of the Rings?
John: No.
John: There's a dragon.
John: I think there are wood elves.
Merlin: I know one person who listens to this show who is losing his mind near Boston right now.
Merlin: There's the ogres.
Merlin: I think that's from Star Wars.
John: There's Tom Bombadil.
John: Tom Bombadil, who's not in the movies.
John: People have theories about Tom Bombadil.
John: I have a lot of theories about him.
John: I think it's a freaking crime that he's not in the movies.
John: Do you think he's a bad guy?
John: He's the old one.
John: Is he a bad guy?
John: No, I think he's the oldest.
John: I think he's like the oldest one.
John: Oh, he's pre-ring.
John: Uh, I think so.
John: I think he's, I think he's, uh, I think he's like, he's super old.
Merlin: I learned that wizards are angels.
Merlin: I learned that from a video.
John: I don't, I, that's not true at all.
Merlin: You should watch CGP.
Merlin: Gray has some very good videos about the, uh, Lord of the Rings mythos.
Merlin: And it gave me a nice cheat sheet so that I could talk to my family.
Merlin: And that's not like a total idiot.
Merlin: I don't think that they are angels.
John: I reject that.
Merlin: Also known as Ringwraiths, the nine, the fallen Kings, Black Riders, Nunbolg or Uwari.
Yep.
Merlin: The dreaded ring servants.
Merlin: So these are a lot like, these are like, oh shit, who are the guys who guard Azkaban?
Merlin: The Dementors.
Merlin: They're a little like Dementors.
Merlin: I don't know what that is.
Merlin: You will.
John: Dementors, yeah.
John: Boy, you're going to love this.
Merlin: Yeah, I love a Wraith.
John: They were kings of men who were given rings of power.
Merlin: Nine rings, blinded by the greed, took without question.
John: That's right.
John: And then Sauron got inside their heads.
John: Ooh, we don't like him.
John: Look at him now.
Merlin: Aragorn.
Merlin: Aragorn's not the guy from the Matrix, right?
Merlin: No, Aragorn Strider.
Merlin: Is Aragorn the guy that was married to Exene?
Merlin: That's a Viggo Mortensen.
Merlin: Is that who that is?
Merlin: I don't accept that either.
Merlin: I don't think it's part of the mythos.
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: Eric used to be married to Xine Cervanca.
Merlin: Viggo Mortensen.
Merlin: He did.
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: They were married until like relatively recently.
Merlin: Post John Doe.
Merlin: I know.
Merlin: Right.
Merlin: Hugo Weaving is the guy from the Matrix who plays an elf and man in this.
Merlin: Yep.
Merlin: Yep.
Merlin: Yep.
Merlin: Yep.
Merlin: And I, and I do support that.
Merlin: Is that his name?
John: I don't know.
John: Yeah, Agent Smith.
John: Mr. Anderson.
John: Mr. Anderson.
John: That's right.
John: Yeah.
John: I support that, but I do not support the daughter of the Aerosmith.
Merlin: Oh, I know who you mean.
Merlin: It's, uh, yeah, yeah, it's, uh, yeah, Tylerson's her name.
Merlin: Meg Tylerson, I think her name is.
John: Meg Tylerson.
John: I think she's a nice lady.
John: I like to, I like to see her, but I do not believe that she should, that was a, that role was inflated.
John: She was good in That Thing You Do.
Merlin: She was very good in That Thing You Do.
John: I didn't see that.
Merlin: Oh, that's a good movie.
Merlin: Now, what about Cate Blanchett?
Merlin: You like her?
John: I do like Cate Blanchett.
John: She's great in that Thor movie, too.
John: I want to see a whole movie about her, like, super, super...
John: Fucking scary, cool elf lady.
Merlin: I'd like to see her.
Merlin: And who's the lady from Orlando that's in the train movie?
Merlin: What's that woman's name?
John: The lady looks like David Bowie.
Merlin: What's her name?
Merlin: Oh, yeah.
Merlin: Tilda Swinton.
Merlin: I'd like to see Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton do some things together.
Merlin: Maybe a buddy movie.
Merlin: Haven't they already?
Merlin: Have they?
John: It feels like they should do a Kung Fu movie.
Merlin: Ha ha ha.
Merlin: Happy New Year.
Merlin: Ow!
Merlin: Ow!
Merlin: Just kick Andy Serkis in the balls for two hours.
Merlin: Shut up.
Merlin: Shut up, Andy Serkis.