Ep. 291: “Arles”
John: Hello.
John: Hi, John.
Merlin: Hi, Merlin.
Merlin: How's it going?
Merlin: Good.
Merlin: How are you going?
Merlin: Do you wish sometimes that I had never taken you to the computer store to buy a computer?
Merlin: Do you ever think maybe that's where it all went wrong?
John: I wonder, there are so many musicians and people my age from my walks of life who did not
John: Really make the transition to computers very gracefully.
John: And I wonder if you hadn't held my hand through all of that.
John: I'm so sorry.
John: I'm so sorry I held your hand.
John: Whether I would be sitting at my Mac Classic 2, like pecking out Facebook posts and like, you know...
John: You know what the country needs?
John: More Chex Mix.
John: And not, you know, not, I wouldn't have turned into this scion of the internet.
John: Oh, you're a scion.
John: Of the internet.
John: Scion of the internet.
John: Yeah, that's what you did to me.
John: You made me out of bits and parts that you found.
John: You think you're like an electronics golem?
Merlin: I'm a golem, right.
Merlin: You're going to save the village?
Merlin: I recently discovered that Pop-Tarts has stopped making their Concord grape flavor.
Merlin: That's you.
Merlin: That's me.
Merlin: It's Frankenstein!
Merlin: Actually.
John: So, yeah, here I am.
Merlin: What I'm saving the listeners from was 12 minutes of computer troubleshooting for the thing that we do over and over and over.
Merlin: It's the definition of insanity.
John: I sat down at the thing, just like I do.
John: You called me like you do.
John: But this time it didn't work.
John: No.
John: Why?
John: Because you had to go to a menu to see if everything was normal, which it wasn't.
John: Why?
John: Yeah.
John: Yeah.
John: Why?
John: Yeah.
John: Why wasn't it?
John: Why?
John: Why wasn't it normal?
John: And then I had spinning beach balls all over everywhere.
John: There were 40 of them.
John: I was like, what's going on now?
John: You have 40 beach balls.
John: Yeah.
John: Do you get that thing?
John: I because computers are still such a mystery to me.
John: I often get that thing when I see a spinning beach ball where I'm like, is this it?
John: This is the end.
John: Oh, this is what it feels like.
John: Like are the missiles coming now?
John: This is your last moment.
John: Like, is the smoke going to pour out?
John: Is everything I ever did or made on a computer going to be lost right now?
John: Right, right, right, right.
John: Because I didn't pay for enough cloud storage.
John: Oh, you didn't buy enough cloud.
John: You know, my mom lost all her music.
John: No.
John: Yeah, she lost it all.
John: And Apple's like, I don't know, man.
John: You didn't buy it the right way at the right time through the right, you know.
John: My mom was one of those people that spent years burning CDs into her iTunes.
John: Just in every CD.
Merlin: Ripping all of her discs, putting the music in there, and that goes into the clode.
Merlin: Right.
John: Except that it doesn't go into the clode.
John: It just goes away somehow, and it had been duplicated and put all...
John: All these different places.
John: But I think she said at one point, like, I burned them to CD, but apparently I use DVDs and now the computer can't see where the information is.
John: And, you know, I get like very, very, very glassy eyed talking to her about computers.
John: But she pays for AppleCare because she, oh, my God, she gets her money out of AppleCare.
John: Oh, she really, she's on the phone.
John: She's at the Genius Bar.
John: She's on the phone with them.
John: Oh, boy.
John: Five days a week and just talking, talking, talking.
John: And, you know, and they're trying to help her solve her problems.
John: Yeah.
John: They've walked her through so many things.
John: She just really believes in AppleCare.
John: But she's got a friend to hold her hand through her computer stuff.
John: Is that you?
John: No, that's her AppleCare.
John: Oh, that's her AppleBuddies.
John: I see, I see, I see.
John: You're over here glassy-eyed.
John: I'm like, did you try turning it off and turning it back on again?
John: It worked for you.
John: It worked for John Roderick.
John: Isn't that satisfying?
Merlin: Isn't that a satisfying feeling?
Merlin: What was wrong?
Merlin: I don't know.
John: I don't know.
John: Beach ball spun for a while and then it didn't.
Merlin: I, you know, so other programs I do, I've spoken somewhat at length about the, how it used to be a lot more fun to go to the Apple store, like at the mall.
John: Oh, yeah.
John: I remember.
Merlin: Yeah, it used to be, I don't know, I mean, there's a variety of reasons that aren't worth getting into here, but the long and short of it is that anybody who ends up going to, has gone to there in the past and goes there now, I don't think this is just super tech nerds, this is something John Syracuse believes, that it's just tech nerds that notice this, but...
Merlin: It's just not as fun.
Merlin: And I think one simple reason is that they have penetrated the consumer market in a way that lots and lots and lots and lots of people have iPads and iPhones.
Merlin: In many cases, iPads and iPhones that they've had for a real long time.
Merlin: And they got that annoying little pop-up that says you're out of clued space.
Merlin: And they just missed it because they didn't want to spend the usurious fees that Apple charges to back stuff up to the cloud.
Merlin: It's really ridiculous.
Merlin: They need to improve that.
Merlin: But, you know, just me.
Merlin: So basically, oh, this is so tragic.
Merlin: My daughter, when we were on our trip, we stopped to get gas.
Merlin: She opened the door, and her favorite possession in the entire world fell out of the car.
John: Oh, no.
John: Was it a Wilberforce doll?
Merlin: No, it was an iPad.
Merlin: Oh, no.
Merlin: I came back from the bathroom, and she was stricken.
Merlin: Oh, no.
Merlin: I don't want to embarrass her, but she was beside herself, and she was like, you don't understand.
Merlin: This particular iPad is my favorite thing in the world.
Merlin: Did it crack?
Merlin: Was it visibly broken?
Merlin: It didn't have hairlines.
Merlin: The lower right-hand corner, you could put your thumb in.
Merlin: It really crashed out of the rented crossover SUV, hit the pavement of Fresno or wherever, and just, it was...
Merlin: Anyway, she was stricken.
Merlin: Long story short, I was like, look, look, look, let me talk you down about this.
Merlin: We'll work this out.
Merlin: We have other iPads you can use if this one didn't work.
Merlin: But, you know, I can't promise you we can.
Merlin: What I couldn't say is no way am I going to pay to get this identical five-year-old iPad that you've got.
Merlin: Like, why don't you have this three-year-old iPad that's actually a better iPad, but it's not the one I want.
Merlin: You don't understand.
Merlin: And, of course, I don't understand.
John: And how can she tell them apart?
Yeah.
Merlin: Well, you know, I don't know.
Merlin: Does it have stickers on it or something?
Merlin: No, no.
Merlin: I mean, it's just, it's an iPad and she wants to, you know, anyway, you know how it is with a kid and attachment.
Merlin: But so I only mentioned that because I had occasion a week before last to make an appointment, took a week.
Merlin: Took a week to get an appointment.
Merlin: Got an appointment at the store.
Merlin: I went in.
Merlin: Of course, the result was it was about a two-minute appointment where the guy basically said, no, we can't fix this.
Merlin: You'd have to just replace it.
Merlin: And I was like, oh, I understand.
Merlin: Thank you very much.
Merlin: But it did give me the opportunity to be in line at the... Even though I had an appointment, I was like the fifth person in line waiting to be triaged.
Merlin: And I...
Merlin: I feel for the people in that Apple store, it is chaos in that store.
Merlin: And the people in line that they have to talk to, they are just the, they are constantly the bearers of bad tidings.
Merlin: It's, I mean, just having to explain people.
Merlin: They're just like pediatric oncologists.
Merlin: It is, really.
Merlin: It's like cancer boy, cancer boy, cancer boy.
Merlin: Person after person comes in and really, really stridently has to make a case about this.
Merlin: All of the photos were on here yesterday, and now it's broken, and how do I get them back?
Merlin: And you're like, you won't be able to get them back.
Merlin: The guy in front of me was particularly animated because he'd gotten locked out of his Apple ID.
Merlin: And wanted them to fix it.
Merlin: And they're like, sir, we don't have a way to do that.
Merlin: If you don't have the password, we don't have a way.
Merlin: He's like, no, no, no, no, no.
Merlin: I contacted you and he has a printout from the internet and all this stuff.
Merlin: And it just would suck.
Merlin: You're right.
Merlin: It's pediatric oncology all the way down.
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: I cannot imagine.
Merlin: This is the thing about, you know, the... What do they call it?
Merlin: The adoption curve, right?
Merlin: Like, we're well past the center of the adoption curve.
Merlin: A lot of normies have this stuff that is now integral to their life, and it's not backed up.
Merlin: They're not... I mean, like, I'm such a pill about this because...
Merlin: I don't know.
Merlin: I feel bad for your mom.
Merlin: You can't go back and change this, but like I do cloud backup.
Merlin: I do local backups.
Merlin: I do iOS devices.
Merlin: I back them up to the computer.
Merlin: Like I do all of this stuff and I still run into problems.
Merlin: So, I mean, people who have, you know, never backed up anything on their phone, it's not connected to the cloud and then it just goes away.
Merlin: And like, you're just, I imagine that turns into this feeling of like Apple fucked me.
Merlin: I imagine that's how a lot of people feel is like,
Merlin: No, they're not sitting there reading knowledge-based articles all day.
Merlin: They expected this thing to work.
Merlin: They expected to be taken care of.
Merlin: And even though it is not really Apple's fault, I imagine they walk away from that just feeling like, gotta be kidding me.
Merlin: I waited here.
Merlin: I didn't have an appointment.
Merlin: I thought I could walk into the store.
Merlin: I waited here for like four hours to get an appointment.
Merlin: And now you tell me I can't get any of my stuff back.
John: Well, because it feels like...
John: Well, there's a super component of planned obsolescence to everything on the internet.
John: I was looking at it, or not just internet, but like planned obsolescence, which wasn't even, I mean, I remember the first time I heard the term and feeling like it was being described to me as something pretty new.
John: Right.
Merlin: It's not like you buy a shaker bench that you can expect to use for 150 years.
Merlin: Right.
Merlin: There's an element in the design of this is the thing that's going to be maybe top of the line for six months.
Merlin: It'll be pretty good for a year.
Merlin: It'll be usable for two years.
Merlin: But at a certain point, this is not going to be a supported device anymore.
John: And when we were kids, hearing about...
Merlin: It's not like your color TV would just stop working in 1982.
John: And people, old people, or not even old people, middle-aged people, then at least, were like, this is insane, right?
John: I mean, my record player I've had since the 40s, but I just bought this microwave and now it doesn't work anymore.
John: And when they say just bought, they mean 15 years ago.
John: But I have a lot of pieces of audio gear.
John: And audio is particularly...
John: uh uh it's particularly egregious because there are lots and lots of pieces of audio gear compressors and and mixers and amplifiers and limiters and stuff that are from the 50s that are still treasured pieces of gear and still worth you know a ton of money and they still work great but as we were moving into digital there became there were all these new pieces of gear that were digital and they were they connected to the internet
John: And so if you bought these things, they weren't any cheaper than a piece of 50s gear.
John: But I have a couple of pieces downstairs where the company is like, oh, we don't support those anymore.
John: And it's like, that does feel like an abdication of responsibility from the user standpoint.
Merlin: From the user's POV, I 100% agree.
Merlin: I think they have good reasons in many cases for not doing that.
Merlin: Not least that not supported can mean lots of different things.
Merlin: In some cases, that can mean literally, like, we can't promise you that this is going to work after a certain point.
Merlin: And then other times, it's just like, no, like, there's no...
Merlin: There's no way to do anything with this anymore.
Merlin: Like there's no way to access what would be needed to make this thing work anymore.
John: I, you know, I have that.
John: I have that.
John: I have a, I have a audio or a, you know, a analog to digital converter that there's just no drivers for, right?
Merlin: That's going to happen.
Merlin: It's happening a lot now.
Merlin: And in the next few months, that's going to happen on a level that could be a little bit staggering to people.
Merlin: Because of this rights thing in Europe?
Merlin: No, that is very interesting.
Merlin: I don't know every detail of this, but long story short... So one of the reasons that things become... This is super boring.
Merlin: One of the reasons that things become not supported is entirely practical, which is that if you've got an original iPhone...
Merlin: They're not, I mean, people who made your apps aren't making those apps anymore.
Merlin: Right.
Merlin: And the people who make the OS that runs Apple, the people who make the OS, I mean, they would have to bend over backwards to support devices that go back 10 years.
Merlin: And it's not efficient.
Merlin: It's not efficient for developers.
Merlin: It's not efficient for Apple.
Merlin: The overhead that's involved in continuing to support a very old device.
Merlin: I mean, I know it's not a fun answer, but that's an answer.
John: But here's, I think, the question that the average person asks, which is we don't want it updated.
John: Like, I just want it to work like it always did.
John: Don't put anything new in it.
John: Don't change anything.
John: Just let it run.
Merlin: Yeah, that seems sensible, but setting aside even things like security.
Merlin: I mean, you need to update the security on stuff.
Merlin: Or what?
Merlin: Or you have an unpatched vulnerability in the wild, which can be exploited.
John: So my mom wants her 2003 phone back, or let's say 2011 iPhone.
John: It worked great when she got it.
John: She never wanted anything to change about it.
John: And she was perfectly happy.
John: And then Apple said, update your operating system.
John: And she did dutifully because they told her to.
John: And then the phone was bricked.
John: And she says, and I think we've all said at one point or another, okay, I would just like to uninstall that update because it's a bad one.
John: Can I just go back to what it was?
Merlin: Which is kind of like saying, take out this artificial heart and give me my original one.
John: Well, except that shouldn't be the analogy for a thing that you bought that's just a dumb little phone, right?
John: I mean, this is the problem, I think, from a consumer standpoint.
John: Like, okay, if you guys want to make a new thing that's really fun and good and goes fast and takes pictures and flies through the air, go on and make it.
John: But you sold me this thing.
John: It still works.
John: And what you're doing is from far away...
John: Telling me that I need to do something to change it.
John: I follow your instructions and you ruin it.
John: And that feels like a new iteration on planned obsolescence, which is we're actively from somewhere else going to try and make your thing not work anymore.
John: And it's magical because once you follow their directions, you can't undo it.
John: And if you don't follow their directions, like updating my stuff here on this computer, right?
John: They start nagging you.
John: They start nagging you.
John: They start nagging you.
John: And that nagging is, I think, one of the things that makes it suspicious.
John: Because if it was necessary, they would have just taken – I don't know.
John: They would just take charge.
John: You turn the computer on and it would just happen.
John: But they need your approval.
John: They need you to say like, yes, I'm going, I'm holding, you know, they're holding out their hand.
John: Come with us.
John: And you grab their hand and you say, yes, I trust you.
John: And then every time you do it, you just sit there with your fingers crossed, like, is this the one where they ruined my machine?
John: Yeah, yeah.
John: And no one has done a very good job of explaining that to the mass.
Merlin: Especially if they're just clicking on OK, OK, OK, without knowing the ramifications.
Merlin: And without knowing stuff like...
Merlin: You know, I am a weirdo.
Merlin: I am a real edge case being somebody who backs up as often as I do.
Merlin: And like I say, I still get fucked, but I back up a lot, a lot, a lot before I do any updates to a phone.
Merlin: Well, that's not entirely true today because I'm pretty up to date and have up to date devices.
Merlin: But like when I do anything with any of my kids stuff before I do a big update, I always do a full update in case I need to wipe it and start over.
Merlin: And most people would never think to do that because they're used to services where all their stuff lives in the cloud.
Merlin: It isn't like one day Facebook crashes and you lose all your messages.
Merlin: They all exist somewhere.
Merlin: And I think that's the feeling people have about a hardware device is like, why can't you recreate this thing in situ?
John: The cloud is still offensive to me and to a lot of people.
John: Like what we're used to is buying a thing and it holds its information on there.
John: And you take it home and you back it up to your computer.
John: None of that was confusing.
John: But then everybody said, oh, we've got a new way, which is you're not backing it up to your computer.
John: You're backing it up to a mysterious off-planet, which now you have to pay a monthly fee for.
John: Which most people are not doing.
John: Well, no, because it feels usurious.
John: I agree.
John: I agree.
John: But I think more to the point, like, remember that little flip camera?
John: We've talked about it before.
Merlin: Dynamite.
Merlin: Dynamite.
Merlin: Changed the game.
Merlin: Came at a perfect time for me and my family.
Merlin: Some of the best videos we got were with flip cameras.
John: And the camera itself is a hardware.
John: I mean, the thing that we bought.
John: It does run software, though.
John: Right.
John: But...
John: Like a digital camera, which is a thing that existed immediately before flip cameras, which to the user is the same.
John: That digital camera, if you plugged it in, turned it on, it would take pictures to this day.
John: So the flip camera was a new evolution, but to the average person,
John: OK, it runs software.
John: Sure.
John: Whatever.
John: It takes pictures.
John: It's a camera that you're selling me like a like a like a physical item.
John: And then one day Flip was like, oh, sorry, they just aren't going to work anymore.
John: Like you can't even use it as a camera and use somebody else's software or just use it as a camera and download it onto a memory car or memory cell.
Merlin: That is frustrating.
Merlin: That happens with all kinds of devices.
Merlin: Like Google bought out this company that made these pretty cool hubs for doing like Internet of Things, smart home stuff.
Merlin: And it was one of the few hubs that was kind of omnivorous and would work with different systems.
Merlin: So you're not dealing with that wild west of all these different systems.
Merlin: And they bought up that company and basically EOL'd, end of life, that product within like I think a month or two.
Merlin: And we're like, well, sorry if you bought one of these before.
Merlin: We've subsumed that team and now your device is not supported anymore.
John: that kind of stuff that really hurts if you just spent 200 bucks on something and then find out a month or two later that like you just you know you're the last one on that particular train well that's what happened with me and flip you know i watched you use it and really enjoy it and you were like oh man this thing is so incredible and i bought one and then i was holding your hand again they closed it down like a like a month later before i'd even really figured out the interface but no it's a
John: It's the change between a business culture where the idea was, we want to make customers for life.
John: And so we're going to go out of our way to make sure the customer is satisfied and we exceed their expectations because we know that we're not selling them one box of Kraft dinner.
John: We're selling them a thousand boxes of Kraft dinner over the course of the next 10 years.
John: And the change from that to the contemporary thing, which is we are – our business model is that we're going to make something so exciting that people won't care that it doesn't work.
John: And we're not trying to get customers for life.
John: We're trying to sell them this thing and get out.
John: Or, you know, like the feeling that I've had that companies have just been burning me.
John: Like, I felt like when I first had Verizon, that that relationship, which could have been one where, because I'm one of those people, I'm one of those people that's just like, Ticonderoga's, that's the only pencil I'll use.
John: You know, like, I'm that guy, right?
John: I'm a Palomino man.
John: I'm a Palomino black ring man.
John: You know, I'm Ticonderoga all the way back.
Merlin: It's a high quality pencil.
Merlin: It's a good, inexpensive pencil.
Merlin: It goes, oh, that was a little underhanded.
Merlin: That felt...
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Merlin: Bit of a diss.
John: It's a great pencil for you.
John: No, I mean, if you're price sensitive, it's fine.
John: If you're, like, not writing a lot, it's a great pencil.
Merlin: If the kind of stuff you write is, like, shit, it's really, it's fine.
Merlin: I mean, why would you?
Merlin: Yeah, sure, don't spend a bunch of money on it.
Merlin: If you're a hobbyist.
Merlin: If you want a prosumer pencil.
Merlin: Sorry, go ahead.
Merlin: Who's fucking you?
Merlin: Who fucked you?
Merlin: Well...
Merlin: Who fucked you?
John: Hi, welcome back to Who Fucked You?
John: No, it was this feeling that I had with, and with cell phones, it really was, there was something new in that original
John: uh business case for cell phones when when cell phones arrived and and because it didn't have to go this way right there was a somebody made a choice some nba somewhere said oh we'll we'll get them to sign a contract subsidize the cost of the hardware right and then we'll make it up in service fees over time and the car you know the the
John: We're like we're in competition with all these other people.
John: And if it's a price war, we're going to none of us are going to make any money because somebody is just going to drive.
John: AT&T has the power to sit there and make it two dollars a month until the rest of us go out of business.
John: Right.
John: And so we're not going to.
John: And so what's our workaround here?
John: And and and my mentality coming from ye olden times is.
John: was provide the best service, right?
John: If you have the biggest network, if you have the best, fastest service and the cheapest phones, you will be the market leader.
John: But there was this sort of, there was this new version of capitalism, which is, well, once you sign up with us, you're trapped.
John: And
John: So you have to really choose which one of us you're going to go with.
John: You know, you have to really be informed.
John: But then it doesn't matter how informed you are because once you get there.
Merlin: There's consequences to change.
Merlin: It's true.
Merlin: It's true for phone plans.
Merlin: It's definitely true for cable.
Merlin: Lots of things where they want to keep you.
Merlin: They want to keep you in there.
Merlin: And there are consequences if you change your plan or leave.
John: Yeah, there's a penalty.
Merlin: And also that whole thing with cell phones where if you accidentally... Oh, if I got a story for you, buddy.
John: You accidentally change a thing and all of a sudden your contract is... You're re-signing another contract.
Merlin: I got an anecdote.
Merlin: I'm going to put a fork in this.
John: Terms of change and all this stuff.
John: And this was a brand new, it seems to me, an unprecedented...
John: capitalism move that didn't, that was, they could justify because of technology.
John: They could say, well, because of technology, we had to, you know, institute this new program, but it really wasn't.
John: It was, it was an, it was some MBAs that figured out a way and everybody sort of jumped on board and it didn't have to go that way.
John: And I think at the time for me as a, as a person, even then,
John: uh in my mid-30s i was offended by it because i was coming from the nordstrom model of like well this thing broke i've owned it for four years but it broke i'm taking it back and nordstrom's like here's your refund because we don't sell snow tires but here's your money that's right and and uh and the i and so i called verizon at one point and i was like hey you know i have been with you guys for two years i went in
John: somebody at the Verizon store was like, hey, do you want a bell and whistle?
John: And I was like, of course I do.
John: And they were like, great.
John: Well, here it is.
John: And I was like, fantastic.
John: And then I, like a month later, I realized you guys signed me up for a new two-year contract.
John: And I didn't agree to that.
John: And they said, well, when you got the bell and whistle, you signed up for a new contract.
John: And I was like, well, no, that's not what the person said.
John: Well, they must have said it to you because otherwise they wouldn't have done it.
John: And I was like, you guys just pulled a fast one.
John: The person said, do you want
John: And I said, sure.
John: But they didn't say like, well, you need to sign up for two more years or I wouldn't have done it.
John: Sure.
John: And the customer service person was like, well, that's, I mean, sounds like you're lying.
Merlin: It's like a bag of dicks, Mr. Roderick.
John: Yeah.
John: And it sounds like you're lying.
John: And if you want out of the contract, it's going to cost you $400.
John: How do you like that?
John: How do you like that customer?
John: And I was like, wow, I'm never going to use Verizon again.
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: I'm going to burn to the ground.
Merlin: I'm going to go outside, take off my clothes, throw a chair through the window and set the place on fire.
John: That's right.
John: And the person said, well, it sounds like if you don't want to be on our two year contract, then you weren't going to use Verizon anyway.
John: So why should I care?
John: Oh.
John: And I was like, oh, wow.
John: I wouldn't cross the street to save Verizon from a fire.
John: Your anger is delicious to them.
John: Delicious.
John: What are you going to do, big man?
John: It was so different.
John: It was such a different feeling in interacting with a company whose attitude was like, you are just a fucking ant.
John: We're playing a numbers game here.
John: The boot has no argument with the ant.
John: AT&T always for all of their big evil back in the old days when you would pick up the phone and it would and it would suddenly suddenly your your friend from across the street had already called you and it never rang and you were like wow the mysteries of the universe but now it was like no this is a garbage and and it felt like from that moment on every interaction I had with the tech world started with that mentality which was just like well
John: We understand that you're a customer.
John: Hello?
John: We understand you're a customer.
John: Is that true?
John: Huh?
John: Well, hope you don't have a problem.
John: And it's like, oh, it still burns.
John: It still burns me, Merlin.
Merlin: It still burns inside.
Merlin: Speaking of your friends at AT&T, I moved to... Whom I hate also.
Merlin: I moved to AT&T probably 2008, whenever I got an iPhone, and was compelled to go to AT&T because that was the only place, you know, where...
Merlin: You could have an iPhone work.
Merlin: And so I was in, I don't know how their plans work.
Merlin: It's all so inscrutable.
Merlin: But I'd signed up and then at a certain point, basically I was grandfathered in on, I believe it was unlimited data.
John: Oh, I have this too.
Merlin: So, well, so you're in for unlimited data.
Merlin: Now, of course, there are many asterisks on that.
Merlin: I think at a certain point every month, they cut you way down on speed.
Merlin: But the point was I was on.
Merlin: At one point, I needed to make a change, which I think was like maybe my wife getting an iPhone.
Merlin: And they're like, yeah, well, you know, you're not going to be grandfathered in anymore.
Merlin: It's like, hang on a minute.
Merlin: Like, look, I don't want to be a dick, but like, I'm, I want to use more of your service.
Merlin: I want to pay you more money every month.
Merlin: And like, well, yeah, sure.
Merlin: You know, we'll take that money, but like, you're not going to be grandfathered.
Merlin: And it's like, fine, fine.
Merlin: I did it.
Merlin: I did it.
Merlin: So I've been with them for 10 years.
Merlin: We go to Yosemite a few weeks ago.
Merlin: This is such a white wine.
Merlin: I'm going to own that.
Merlin: This is a white wine.
Merlin: But it made me so fucking angry.
Merlin: So we're getting actually like in our cabin, we're getting like pretty good LTE.
Merlin: Like we're watching TV shows during dinner and stuff and like streaming Spotify and like having a fine time.
Merlin: You know, running around Yosemite and then coming back and having cabin time.
Merlin: And it's really nice.
Merlin: And we're having a great time.
Merlin: And then I get the first nasty gram.
Merlin: You know, you get your first nasty gram, which is like, oh, you're at 75% of your data usage.
Merlin: And I'm like, oh, yes, I am.
Merlin: That's fine.
Merlin: That's fine.
Merlin: Way to bring another bottle of LTE.
Merlin: That's fine.
Merlin: And then they're like, oh, you know, you're getting real close.
Merlin: Tip, tip, tip.
Merlin: And they're like, you have reached 100% of your data usage for this cycle.
Merlin: And I didn't even really look at the message.
Merlin: Because if I'd read the whole message, I would see that it says, you're at 100% of your data for the month, and we're going to kick you down to like 1993 level speeds.
Merlin: I mean, comically, basically 1 300th of what I get on Comcast at home.
Merlin: 1 30th of what I could get on this shitty Wi-Fi in this cabin that I would not even want to use.
Yeah.
Merlin: And I was like, oh, really?
Merlin: Like, you know, we're going to be in this cabin for tonight and tomorrow night.
Merlin: We're going home on Sunday.
Merlin: And so like a fucking idiot, it's 9.30, I call AT&T.
Merlin: And you know you're going to get the pros from Dover when you call AT&T at 9.30 on a Friday night.
Merlin: No, no, I get launched into some kind of call center and talk to someone whose name is supposedly like Stacy.
Merlin: And Stacy's like, yes, that is correct.
Merlin: Your billing cycle does not restart for a couple days.
Merlin: I was like, okay, no, no problem.
Merlin: Like I say, bring another bottle to the table.
Merlin: Just charge me overages.
Merlin: Like, you know, if you want to charge me 50 bucks, believe me, when I went to New Zealand, I learned about how you can get charged for overseas.
Merlin: Yeah, they know how to do it.
Merlin: But like, wouldn't that seem, it seems like the solution there would be
Merlin: We'll spot you.
Merlin: Now I'm being John Roderick.
Merlin: But you've been with us for 10 years.
Merlin: We'll spot you LTE data for a couple days.
Merlin: Charge you $100 even.
Merlin: Not ideal, but that's got to be the solution, right?
John: That's what I'm asking for.
Merlin: She's like, nope, nope, nope.
Merlin: The only way to do that is to change your plan.
Merlin: And I said, change my plan?
Merlin: She said, yeah, yeah, I would change your plan.
Merlin: You would not be grandfathered in on this other thing you get right now.
Merlin: You would not get this family rate thing anymore.
Merlin: It would be a whole new plan.
Merlin: This is for me to have LTE coverage for 26 extra hours before my billing cycle starts.
Merlin: 26 hours.
Merlin: And I actually, I could feel, I felt myself kind of crumbling.
Merlin: I'm already being a dick in front of my family.
Merlin: And I'm like, look...
Merlin: We're out of town.
Merlin: We're just going to be out of town for like another day.
Merlin: Can you guys just spot me for one day?
Merlin: I feel like I'm begging Nichols for coffee.
Merlin: But I'm like, can you just spot me for one day?
Merlin: And I'm just like, no.
Merlin: And so, of course, I wanted to speak with the supervisor.
Merlin: Yeah, will you speak with the supervisor, please?
Merlin: 20 minutes on hold.
Merlin: This is my family.
Merlin: Right now, everybody's sitting around looking at Dad being mad.
Merlin: i'm writing things down on a card and i'm all mad and uh and finally i speak with a person whose name is supposedly arliss because i wrote it down his name is arliss a-r-l-e-s i said really arliss arliss i said hi arliss my name is merlin and i'm an at&t customer i've been with y'all for about i moved to at&t arliss is like i'm sure his name is merlin sure
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Merlin: Oh, let me get this straight.
Merlin: Your name is Merlin Mann.
John: Okay, sure.
John: Anyway, yes, what's your problem?
Merlin: Go pull the other one, sir.
Merlin: Anyway, this story's not going fucking anywhere.
Merlin: But I was so goddamn mad.
Merlin: And he's like, look, no, no, we can't change this.
Merlin: You need to change your plan.
Merlin: And I was like...
Merlin: Even the supervisor, even Arliss.
Merlin: Even Arliss couldn't help me out.
Merlin: But I was like, you know what?
Merlin: Fine.
Merlin: I understand.
Merlin: Thank you for your time.
Merlin: And I sat there.
Merlin: And then you know what?
Merlin: When we woke up on Sunday morning, we were back on our mega speeds.
Merlin: We were back on like 30 megabits down.
Merlin: Or was it even higher?
Merlin: It was crazy fast.
Merlin: But yeah, we just waited out.
Merlin: We had a Saturday without internet, basically.
Merlin: Not a huge deal.
Merlin: I mean, the thing is, I'm a nerd, so I do stuff like I try to track location stuff on my phone.
Merlin: I do lots of little things.
Merlin: I do sleep tracking.
Merlin: I do all this kind of stuff that requires just the teeniest little tipple of wireless.
Merlin: It doesn't take a lot.
Merlin: I ended up using the horrible cabin Wi-Fi that was totally insecure.
Merlin: But, you know, that's kind of what I'm talking about where it's like, you know, that would have been a neat opportunity for them to be empowered to say, I'm going to hit the special.
Merlin: They don't even probably have a special button.
Merlin: I don't know if Arliss has a button.
Merlin: But to hit the button and say, we'll even give you free LTE for 26 hours.
Merlin: Like, we'll include that as part of this month.
Merlin: But it wasn't.
John: I see here you've been a customer for 15 years.
John: How about one half hour of something free?
Yeah.
John: Well, the thing is that... You feel me on this, right?
Merlin: And now I'm mad.
Merlin: And now I'm mad and I'm sitting there and I'm a big grump at like 11 o'clock on a Friday night when I should be.
Merlin: If I had a better personality and character, I would put that behind me.
Merlin: But I was mad.
John: No, we talk about this and we have for a long time.
John: Your expectation is coming from a place from the distant past.
John: And so are mine, right?
John: I mean, the desire to demand...
John: satisfaction from a merchant comes from the, from an old idea, which is I have other options and
Merlin: i can buy products from other vendors right and this is the this is the soul of capitalism like you would not okay so so there's a terrible far away example is what i consider the sort of resort economy like let's say you're on a ship or you better still like you're at some kind of really remote resort and you go to the only bodega in town near that resort
Merlin: Right.
Merlin: You know, you're going to pay $30 for sunscreen because they can do that.
Merlin: And you do that and you accept that as part of the process.
Merlin: But if there was any other conceivable way that you would get it from anywhere else, you certainly would not continue to go back to that place for 30 years, 40 years to get your sunscreen.
Merlin: Because, you know, they are there to fuck people over a short period of time and you move on.
Merlin: You would never abide that in your day to day.
Merlin: You would not keep going to a place that shortchanges you.
Merlin: You would not go to a place that has already open containers of peanuts or whatever.
Merlin: You would not accept that.
Merlin: I mean, if you were in a mining town, you'd buy their pan because you have no choice.
Merlin: But if you had any choice at all, just for self-preservation, not to interrupt you, I'm sorry, but that's the frustrating part.
Merlin: It's like you thought there were options.
Merlin: If you don't like North Face, you can go to REI.
Merlin: There are other places that you can go if you think they'll treat you better.
John: Well, and the thing is, we still...
John: There are like two side-by-side capitalisms now.
John: And obviously there are 40 side-by-side capitalisms.
John: But if you went to a coffee shop and got even slightly...
John: bad service or received a slightly bad cup of coffee you would say i'm never going to that place again right if you if you order takeout even if it's convenient if you've gone in there and the coffee sucks three times and the people are not very nice you're just not going to go there even if it's more convenient yeah that's right you you'll walk five blocks uh to go to the one where they're like hey great to see you and they give you a good cup of coffee
John: But somehow we have in our minds been asked to or rather, you know, it's just been it's been established as fait accompli that within this tech world, we have no recourse of that kind.
John: I mean, unless you want to, you know, you want to because you go on long enough.
John: Somebody's going to go on in the Internet long enough with these questions.
John: Somebody's going to say, why don't you switch over to a.
John: to a google phone or you know like get with the times and get an android you should pick a nicer abuser you're like oh come on seriously like i like the whole idea remember before there were iphones we were like why isn't there a phone that just syncs with my mac wouldn't that be great because i got all this stuff that i like on my computer the acrobatics that i used to go through to get my palm to sync up with my mac with the serial cable and then you had to run the software and it go blip blip blip blip blip
Merlin: across the screen, I'm syncing your contacts today.
Merlin: I know, I know.
Merlin: But every time, you're right though, because I mean, I used to be on Sprint before I was on AT&T and they would have cheap phones and I was in this program where they'd send you phones to test out and stuff like that.
Merlin: But like every time I got a new phone, it was like a completely tabula rasa.
Merlin: Like every, you know, the whole like, you know, new phone, who dis?
Merlin: Like that was life in basically the 2000s.
John: But all the promise of it was – I mean, when I thought about the future world in which I could just hook my phone up and it would sync with everything and the world was all available.
John: And, you know, I posted yesterday and it may – you may or may not have seen it.
John: But we – Ariella, Marlo's mom, is in Australia right now.
John: And she landed –
John: She landed in Brisbane and was standing there at the airport.
John: And she's like, I'm here.
John: You know, it was a 17-hour flight or whatever.
John: And I said, oh, and I FaceTimed her.
John: And it was mostly just like, I wonder if this will work.
John: And here she appears standing out at the taxi stand with her phone.
John: And we're talking to her and there's basically zero lag.
John: It's magic.
John: It's just magic.
John: I mean, I was sitting trying to think of how...
Merlin: it worked even at the speed it's like triple magic because like there are so many places where like i feel like i've been super clear about what i want on the sandwich what i want i've been like but really really clear it seems so easy to understand what i want and don't want on the sandwich and they can't get the sandwich but you can facetime to like another fucking continent and it just works like they're in the next room magic and also like to their credit
John: No big extra charge.
John: Right.
John: She she she applied for she she got some plan international plan.
John: Right.
John: But I mean, I remember going on tour in the in the days of cell phone where you may not even have had to face this.
John: But when.
John: When we were first touring in Europe in the early 2000s, you had to have a different phone plan for every country.
John: Oh, 100%.
Merlin: You might need a different phone or at least a different SIM card for every country.
John: If you went from the Netherlands to Germany, it was like, sorry, you got to flip your SIM card out.
John: And so I had these plastic bags with six different phones and 15 different SIM cards.
John: And they all had money on them somewhere.
John: Here's Stringer Bell.
John: Yeah.
John: It was just burner phones right and left.
John: And so all that has been solved except somewhere along the line we were asked to accept a business model that doesn't need to be the case.
John: And what you're saying where you call them up and you're like, I've been using your product for 15 years.
John: I know you think I don't have any options except to use you.
John: And I don't, honestly, if we're both being honest, I don't, I'm not going to cancel my service with you, but my God, have a little humanity like somewhere in the system.
John: Is there no reward for loyalty for, for, you know, for the fact that I have cuffed myself to, to you and,
John: And made that choice a long time ago.
John: And like, here I am.
John: Just give me a little dignity.
John: And from the other, you know, like I am a complete slave.
John: Just give me the even the facsimile of dignity.
John: And their response is there is no dignity.
John: We are a machine.
John: There is no solution.
John: And the machine is programmed specifically to deprive you of dignity.
John: And that's the thing that because because what has happened is that has infected other businesses.
John: So that's why everybody is so mad at airlines now.
John: Because airlines... What are you going to do?
John: Yeah, right.
John: Oh, you want to use a different airline?
John: Cry us a river.
John: And I think I'm sure that we talked about my Delta SkyMiles problems.
John: But it was a similar type of thing where I'd been...
John: I had decided that I was going to be a Delta guy.
Merlin: Oh, right.
Merlin: John Hodgman talked you into choosing.
John: Yes.
John: Hodgman and Colton and all those guys are just like Delta is the only way.
John: And so I go into it and now I'm, you know, I love to gamify a thing.
John: And now I've, now I've gamified air travel and it's like, I'm trying to get status.
John: I'm going to get to the next level of status.
John: And when you get to the next level of status, you get these benefits.
John: Look at these benefits, man.
John: And all of it's nothing.
John: It's just nothing.
John: It's like,
John: Somewhere along the way, we decided that air travel was a thing that we were going to gauge primarily on price.
John: And that's not necessarily true, right?
Merlin: I mean, air travel... Air travel used to be, when it was regulated, air travel was a lot more costly.
Merlin: Super costly.
Merlin: After it was deregulated, like when I was a kid, like flights were $700 in like 1970s dollars.
Merlin: Like it was very expensive to take a flight and because of, I guess because of regulations.
Merlin: And then that became a big price wars thing after deregulation in the early 80s.
Merlin: It became all about the price wars.
John: Yeah, well, it was it was not the regulations weren't like specifically keeping the price high.
John: It was just air travel was still pretty luxurious.
John: There weren't all these discount airlines that were flying like, you know, rattle trap shuttle flights.
John: But what was that one?
John: Freddie Laker.
Merlin: Remember him?
Merlin: Freddie Laker.
Merlin: Freddie Laker.
Merlin: He used to have ads on Freddie Laker was the guy who did, what was his totally shitty, was it Laker Airways?
John: Oh, this must, this has to be a regional airline because I have no recollection of Freddie Laker.
Merlin: I remember the radio ads that were like, was this SkyTrain?
Merlin: We have cut out all of the, you know, he's like, oh, we're going to give you the cheapest flight.
Merlin: It was like being on a Conestoga wagon.
John: Well, you know, growing up in Alaska, there were a thousand airlines, but Alaska Airlines was the was the big airline and and the main airline.
John: But we near Alaska was was a competitive airline that wasn't absolutely was not powered by rubber bands like most of the airlines up there.
John: But somewhere along the line, right, and my mom was a Delta loyalist in the 80s because she did a lot of business flying and she maintained her frequent flyer miles and I don't know what, you know, free trip to Hawaii or something.
John: But the whole premise of the mileage program is what?
John: Loyalty.
John: customer loyalty.
John: And so this is precisely the place where somewhere in your machine, you need a human being empowered to give someone a little, just a little pretend dignity.
John: Because the whole idea is that they want you to think of them as Nordstrom.
John: You know, I do have choices and I want to use you.
John: And if you are pursuing a
John: like like status on an airline you are demonstrating the precisely the loyalty that a business used to want well so i got to the end of a year and i talked i was booking my flight and this is a thing i never would have done but i called somebody at delta never were previously done and said hey i want to make sure i get to my status level i've got this and this flight booked am i like am i good and the person was like
John: Uh, yep.
John: Looks like if, you know, if you complete all that flight by this time, then you should be, you're, you're over the line.
John: And I was like, awesome.
John: Yes.
John: Okay, great.
John: And I, and I did this big trip and I got to the end and I was down in California and January, whatever, 20th, I went to the airport and not only was I not in my status, which I had come to
John: Expect half the time I was getting bumped upgraded.
John: Mm-hmm.
John: I was in zone three and
John: They didn't have my TSA pre-check stuff.
John: Oh, my God.
John: Did you say what?
John: Zone three?
John: I was in zone three, my friend.
John: And also, like, had to wait in the normal line.
John: Oh, with the snorks.
John: When I went up to the counter and was like, I don't have pre-check.
John: They were like, oh, well, it's random.
John: And I said...
John: I know for a fact it's not random.
John: Like, this is a thing that I have.
John: And they're like, well, it's random.
John: And I'm like, that's what you tell a snork.
John: But I am not one.
John: Like, please put it on.
John: I've seen this happen a dozen times where you walk up and say, I would like that.
John: And they go, oh, yes, sir.
John: And they put it on.
John: And they're like, sorry.
John: And so I got on the phone.
John: And I was like, what's going on here?
John: I was told that I had made it over the line.
John: And they said, oh, yeah, but what you didn't do was spend enough money.
John: There are two ways you have to get status.
John: You're mild, but also you're spending.
John: Oh, Mr. Roderick, I'm so sorry.
John: You're one for two.
John: Yeah, you're spending.
John: And I was like, okay, so you're telling me I spent money.
John: thousands and thousands of dollars on your airline but like for 170 dollars of mystery money that i didn't spend somewhere along the line on on drinks or whatever uh it feels like cheating it feels like they're cheating at the game they made they made it they made it a game and they are not playing by the rules that's what it feels like at all so i did exactly what you did which is i said
John: Can I speak with Arliss?
John: Get Arliss on the horn.
John: I was like, just between two human beings here, just you and me, two humans, I believe in your company.
John: I'm totally on board.
John: I'm playing the game.
John: I had status last year, as you can see.
John: I travel a lot for business.
John: This year, I'm going to get it, too.
John: And something happened here.
John: I actually talked to someone at your airline.
John: They told me I was good.
John: I would have done it differently if they had said that it wasn't good.
John: I would have spent more money.
John: I would have given you $170 in cash because I'm so into this game now.
John: But now you're telling me that I didn't get through the goalposts.
John: Or I did, but you're taking it back because there was a yellow card on the play.
John: or whatever.
John: You had a technical foul.
John: And the fans are going crazy.
John: But can I talk to your man?
John: And I went up and up the line and I wouldn't give up.
John: So I called them again.
John: I called them day after day.
John: I had a woman go back and look and see every single flight I'd taken and she was like, you got credit for that?
John: And then she found one.
John: She was like, oh, you didn't get credit for this flight.
John: This is it.
John: This is it.
John: We're over the line.
John: And then
John: 10 minutes into the conversation she was like oh oh sorry you did get it you did get credit for it it was just a different thing god hope is the worst hope is the thing that kills you but what's crazy is in those moments you see like oh well if i had then you just would you have the power right you're there somewhere with a keystroke you could solve this but you can't you're not gonna do that no
John: Anyway, so during this time, this is from January to March, I'm flying on Delta probably an average of four times a month because I'm going back and forth to California.
John: And I'm trying to pursue this angle.
John: And all of this, I'm in zone three.
John: I'm in zone three.
Merlin: They're still in zone three.
John: Because they're just like, sorry, there's nothing we can do.
Merlin: Yeah, while we're processing your case, you're still a snork.
John: Yeah.
John: And every time I go to the airport, I'm bruised by this.
John: But I don't want to get off.
John: I'm still gaming this.
John: I still want this.
John: I want to show them that I'm loyal.
John: All these things.
John: The burden of proof is on me, right?
John: It's so undignified.
John: I'm just like, no, no, no, groveling, groveling at their feet.
John: Please, please take me back.
John: Please, please, please.
Merlin: I want to be good.
John: So little dignity.
John: What did I do wrong?
John: And at one point they said, well, you can buy that hundred and seventy dollars worth of money that you didn't spend, but we only sell it in five hundred dollar increments.
John: oh my god you had an in-app purchase you're playing the video game but you didn't realize now you need to buy more coins yeah you need to turn real coins into fake coins and and and at that i was at that i balked i was like you now what now you you needed 170 extra fantasy dollars from me
John: That if a stewardess had spilled hot tea on the floor next to me, she would have given me 7,000 points.
Merlin: They'd just throw you 500 Mario coins just because.
John: But instead of that, instead, no.
John: But now you're saying that to get that $170, I need to give you $500.
John: And I get nothing else for it except I'm basically giving you $500 to play in your party.
John: And I had that shred of dignity left.
John: And I didn't do it.
John: And then later I regretted it.
John: I was like, I've spent at least $500 worth of man hours on the phone with these people.
John: But here's the kicker.
John: I'll get over this.
John: I'll get over this one day.
John: But in April...
John: i finally talked to because it's the same thing as you right you call and sometimes you get someone who seems informed and sometimes you get someone who doesn't and it just doesn't matter there's it's just random sometimes i call triple a and the person on the other line is like oh yes sir let me just take this information i'll get that tow truck to you right away and sometimes i call triple a and the person is
John: Make and model of vehicle.
John: And I'm like, okay, here we go.
John: Let me just run it down.
John: And they're like, whoops, slow down.
John: Color of vehicle.
John: And you're like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
John: I'm on the side of the road.
John: We don't have time for this.
Merlin: Mac or PC.
John: Anyway, I get a person on the phone at Delta who says, well, we could sign you up for our fly into status program.
John: Did I talk to you about this at the time?
John: No.
John: There's another program.
John: And I said, what?
John: Fly into status program?
John: Yes.
John: The fly into status program is a program for when you don't get your status.
John: This is the first time you're hearing about this.
John: Yeah, this is weeks and weeks and weeks of multiple phone calls.
John: And I said, oh, this is what we should have been talking about on January the 17th when I first called.
John: If you had said there was a fly into status program, I would have signed up for it immediately and this would not have been a problem.
John: Oh, well, you know, it's only available to, I was like, to whom?
John: i'm no different now than i was then this is kafka-esque so they signed me in to their fly into status program and i got something in the mail like a like a colorful brochure and here's what it said you must fly uh 8 000 miles
John: In the three months immediately after you fly into status program, at which point you will return to your... Wait, how many miles?
John: I don't remember.
Merlin: But a lot, kind of a lot.
John: Yes, except that... Did you miss the window?
John: From the time that I initially called them,
John: To the moment that they revealed to me the existence of the fly into status program, I had already in that year flown the requisite number of miles to have succeeded, to have won the game of the fly into status program.
John: But the fly into status program said from the date that you are issued the fly into status status.
John: God, this is giving me such a headache.
John: And it all came by way of one of those email replies where the person has a name like Arliss.
John: But it says, do not reply to this email.
John: Arliss can't get mail.
John: Yeah, the email address is like blank at noreply at deltaairlines.com.
John: So there isn't a person.
John: I cannot write them and say, oh, hey, hey, hey, there's got to be a way.
John: This is just another slap.
John: Because we should have done this the first day and now I would be there.
John: You're telling me I have to start now?
John: By the time I get to 8,000 miles, I will have just achieved the status.
John: I won't get that until the end of the year.
John: There's no...
John: Hello?
John: Hello?
John: Yeah.
John: Your voice is just like into the into the well.
John: And and yet I still fly Delta Merlin.
John: Oh, my God.
John: I still use them because there isn't another option.
John: like united is the fucking crime of the century and i'm not a southwest person i'm not gonna do that no no no no you're you're not cattle i'm not a person like that i'm not one of those snorks no i'm a person you're a high status snork i'm not even i just want the budget you guys designed the video game and you made the rules for the video game and then i did the video game i just want some human dignity in this world
John: And what they say, what their version of capitalism is, is, oh, if you want dignity, just pay for it.
John: Like for $2,500 to fly from here to there.
Merlin: This is why I say it's like in-app purchases in one of those candy games.
Merlin: We're like, oh, the only way to win is to just keep giving us money to buy coins so you can win the game.
Merlin: It's ridiculous.
Merlin: So when we came back from that trip, and of course, Sunday morning, I'm still kind of steamed about the AT&T thing.
Merlin: Long story short.
Merlin: When my lady had rented the crossover SUV, she did the thing where they said, look, do you want to prepay for your gas?
Merlin: You probably want to prepay for the gas.
Merlin: Because if you return it with less than a full tank, you may be aware of this, John.
Merlin: It's very costly.
Merlin: Very costly.
Merlin: So we really think it's best you should get the collision, you should probably rent the GPS, and you should most definitely...
Merlin: pay now prepay for the gas that's the thing because even though we buy gas bulk yes and have a 200 000 gallon tank under here yes we're going to charge you 15 a gallon so they said no here's an option as you may know there's an option the option is that you may choose to play a video game of our own design and the video game of our own design is you get this thing back on time with enough gas to drive it onto the lot
Merlin: Right.
Merlin: And then if it's prepaid, that's that's all taken care of.
Merlin: Now, now the video game is right.
Merlin: If you're a sucker and you fill up that tank before you bring it in.
Merlin: Right.
Merlin: So you're being overcautious.
Merlin: You're not going to win the video game.
Merlin: So the video game that they have designed is don't wreck the car.
Merlin: And when you bring it back, essentially have it as close to empty as possible for you to get optional optimal value out of this.
John: Oh, this is a good game.
John: Sure.
John: And they're counting on the fact that you're going to there's still going to be seven gallons in there.
Merlin: But I mean, we've all experienced this for years now that this is a thing you can choose to do, which is if you if you prepay for gas, I think they introduced a while back, you spend less than if they have to top off the tank.
Merlin: And, you know, to a certain point, it's certainly it kind of makes sense.
Merlin: Especially if you know you might be late or something like that.
Merlin: And my wife said, you know what?
Merlin: I will pay for your video game.
Merlin: I will prepay.
Merlin: I will prepay for the tank and I will bring this car back to you and we will have played a video game.
Merlin: So we drive all the way back from Yosemite.
Merlin: We get back.
Merlin: We drop things off the house.
Merlin: My lady says, okay, I'm gonna go drop off the car.
Merlin: She takes it there.
Merlin: She drops it off.
Merlin: They said, oh, oh.
Merlin: you uh this tank is almost empty and she said damn right it's almost empty video game yeah i said well you didn't you didn't prepay for the gas and she says i most certainly did prepay for the gas otherwise i would not have brought it back empty do you see my logic here and they're saying no there's nothing here on the paper or in the computer that says that you prepaid for the gas so we're going to try i think it was something like a hundred dollars it's something ridiculous to fill the tank sure
Merlin: So she lost the video game, even though she played the video game.
Merlin: She went with their rules.
Merlin: She played by their rules.
Merlin: Now, okay, is this the end of the world?
Merlin: No, it's not.
Merlin: But it hurts your heart, and it kind of ruined the day.
Merlin: It was Mother's Day, and she was very sad about that.
Merlin: It's like, you know, that...
Merlin: You know, that's not cool.
Merlin: So what are you going to do?
Merlin: Now you sound like a crazy person.
Merlin: You're like, well, of course I did.
Merlin: But no, she just dealt with some ding-a-ling person who had not noted that down.
Merlin: And I guess bad on her for not inspecting every line of the receipt that came out.
Merlin: That's it.
John: It's her fault because she didn't sit and read the receipt out loud.
Merlin: She should have gotten the drive-to-status program where she could have driven around the parking lot.
Merlin: You drive-to-status.
Merlin: You drive-to-status, right?
John: It's a ticket to the stars.
John: I took a rental car back not that long ago, and I had...
John: I had checked 12 p.m.
John: instead of 12 a.m.
Merlin: Oh, a.m.
Merlin: p.m.
John: Something like that.
Merlin: Why separate knob?
Merlin: Why separate knob?
John: The price would have been the same, right?
John: They're just like, when do you want to bring it back?
Merlin: They didn't tell you it was GMT.
John: Yeah, right.
John: But it's like...
John: It doesn't matter.
John: Like if you checked one hour, you check four hours later, it sort of doesn't matter when you're booking it because it's not it wouldn't have been a separate day.
John: Right.
John: It was just like I think it was a thing where I said I was going to bring it back at one and I should have put for something like that.
John: Same day.
Merlin: Same day.
Merlin: But you missed you missed your deadline.
Merlin: You hit your day.
Merlin: You missed your deadline.
John: That's right.
John: I missed my I missed my deadline.
John: And I was like, oh, well, yeah, sorry.
John: I'm sorry that I should have pushed four.
John: And they were like, yeah, well, we give you –
John: We give you a window.
John: Oh, they gave you a window.
John: But you've exceeded the window.
Merlin: And I was like, you know, they don't have to give you that window.
Merlin: They just do that out of the goodness of their heart.
Merlin: Give me the window.
John: That's right.
John: That's right.
John: And I was like, oh, well, so I'll pay, you know, what is it like another hour or something or another two hours, whatever that is.
John: I don't think you understand.
John: You don't understand the window, John.
John: I'm renting the car by the hour, I guess.
John: I mean, if I had signed up for the window, what, what, what?
John: And they're just like, it's one hundred and fifty dollars.
Merlin: That's the entirety of what it cost us to rent the crossover SUV.
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: And I said, ah, $150 American.
John: I said, are we still playing a video game at this point?
John: Can I talk to the manager?
Merlin: And they're like, I am the manager.
John: I am the manager.
John: I'm the manager.
John: I'm Robert Hertz.
John: And her, her, her, her badge said Arliss.
Yeah.
John: and i was like she's just smiling and shaking like a closed lip smile eyes closed just shaking her head slowly side to side well you know they're a human being right so they're bracing for this which they know is unreasonable yeah and i said well and this is the crazy thing because you're like well
John: I know you're I know you are a person and there's a keystroke that you could make that this would go away.
John: So how do I lower myself to a to a status so low?
John: Because I do not have status so high that I can do anything about this.
John: Because if I did, $100 wouldn't matter to me.
John: I would have rented the biggest car and I would have put it on gold platinum status card.
John: Right.
John: And my assistant would have done it.
Merlin: It's like people say, it's the high price of being poor.
Merlin: Like when you're trying to be economical and price sensitive about something, that's when you get all the Fugees.
Merlin: That's how they get you.
John: And so you're trying to calibrate like we all do.
John: What is the lowness that I am prepared to subject myself to?
John: Like, how low can I grovel to make Arliss...
John: feel what i guess sympathy is the only ploy i have like a kind of human sympathy because i see i see i see from the facts of the matter that this was a misunderstanding and that you're in a situation here and i and i could choose to help you out because you can't say i'm never going to use your product again that that no longer has any weight even though that used to be
John: The thing that you said, you'd stand at the counter and you'd say, I'm never going to patronize this business again if you don't treat me with a little dignity.
John: Right.
John: But you can't say that now, because if you say, I'm never going to use Hertz again, they're like, we'll go over to Avis, which is basically in the same booth.
John: And we just trade hats like they're not they're not even separate companies.
John: They're all owned by Facebook.