Ep. 296: "Bowl of Jay"
Merlin: Hello.
Merlin: Hi, John.
Merlin: I'm Merlin.
Merlin: How's it going?
Merlin: Pretty chill.
Merlin: Pretty chill.
Merlin: It's Monday, baby.
John: Woo!
John: Chill Monday, as we say.
Merlin: Chill accent.
Merlin: Chill.
Merlin: Chill Monday.
Merlin: Chill Monday.
Merlin: Wish him well.
Merlin: Kiss and tell.
Merlin: Do you have things you do on days of the week as a matter of course?
Merlin: I mean, you know, there's schedules for kid things and family things, but do you have days of the week that you use for things?
Merlin: I'll start.
Merlin: I'll start.
Merlin: Okay, you go, you go, you go.
Merlin: There's a phrase around my house, and the phrase around my house is Thursday is my Thursday.
Merlin: Thursday is my day.
Merlin: Thursday is Merlin's Thursday.
Merlin: Thursday is my Thursday.
Merlin: Thursday is my day.
Merlin: When I do a lot of the organizational and quartermaster activities...
Merlin: That I'm increasingly responsible for around the house.
Merlin: I do a lot of things around supply.
Merlin: You know, you got you got flow.
John: You got your Don Rickles in in CPO Sharky.
Merlin: That's right.
Merlin: Or or Sergeant Zale, I think was his name.
Merlin: Can't remember the electric bill.
Merlin: Remember, remember Sergeant Zale.
Merlin: And so, but that's a lot.
Merlin: There's a lot of that day to day.
Merlin: And sometimes I'll capture some of that in my trusted system.
Merlin: But Thursday, for example, is a day when I do a lot of the, you got your errands, you got your putting toilet paper back in the bathroom.
Merlin: You want to make sure there's, you know, a soy drink.
Merlin: We're caught up on that.
Merlin: All those kinds of things.
Merlin: For example, Thursday is my Thursday.
Merlin: That's the day that I do a lot of the Thursday things.
Merlin: I also do a lot of what I've come to call mosquito tasks, things that aren't worth taking time to do right this second.
Merlin: But when I'm doing things in a batch, like here's all the kitchen things I want to do.
Merlin: Take all the unnecessary sharp things out of this drawer.
Merlin: These are the kinds of lists that I have.
Merlin: That's a good Thursday thing for me.
John: Do you have take the sharp things out of the drawer on a list?
John: I do.
John: I see.
John: So it's not just, so you didn't open a drawer and you were like, oh, look at all these sharp things in here.
John: Let's get these out of here.
John: You were like, there are a lot of sharp things in here.
John: Let's put this on a list of things to do.
Merlin: Have you ever noticed?
Merlin: Okay.
Merlin: So we got a drawer in our kitchen Island.
Merlin: And for some reason that is a sink for everything that wants to cut me.
Merlin: I'm like a cop and I'm like an episode of cops from 1992.
Merlin: I'm like, anything here going to stick me?
Merlin: So we got the little pigs, you got the butt and the head of the pig that you use for, for holding a corn cob.
Merlin: Oh, yeah, those.
John: Yep, that's good.
Merlin: You got all kinds of things like meat thermometers, the electric knife knives.
Merlin: You've got all these things.
Merlin: At one point, John Roderick, I took a cardboard box.
Merlin: I removed everything that kept sticking me in that drawer and put it into a box in the closet.
Merlin: That was probably a year ago.
Merlin: And at this point, I need to do it again because it's full of things.
Merlin: I don't want to stick my hand into a drawer and be stuck by things, especially if it's a non-essential item.
John: What the thrift stores do is they take just a piece of masking tape and
John: And they run the masking tape down the blade.
John: Oh, that's smart.
John: And then, you know, masking tape comes off unless you leave it on there for 100 years.
Merlin: It's right there in the name.
Merlin: Yeah, right.
Merlin: I mean, it's not duct tape.
Merlin: Not really, but yeah.
Merlin: No, no, no, no, no.
Merlin: It's not for ducts.
Merlin: I didn't know this until I had to paint something that it's for masking an area that you're going to paint.
Merlin: Right.
Merlin: We want to then remove the tape and have just the paint and the part that wasn't painted owing to the masking.
Right.
John: Right, so it's in the name implied.
John: It's not called like removable tape, it's called masking tape, but you understand what masking is.
Merlin: Yes, I understand.
Merlin: I've come to understand.
John: But if you just put a line of tape down that or wrap the pointy thing in masking tape,
John: You know, the thrift stores, they sell huge bins full of knives and nobody ever gets stuck.
John: They got a system.
John: Because they got a system.
Merlin: See, another funny part of that is you got that sharps container.
Merlin: You got that cardboard box over in the closet.
Merlin: And sometimes, sometimes, John, you need something.
Merlin: Uh-oh.
Merlin: And it's funny because it's not usually me.
Merlin: It's usually my wife.
Merlin: And she's like, where are those skewers?
John: Yeah, we're having corn.
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: It's in the giant forbidden box of very sharp things.
Merlin: Please have a very bright light on and your head about you when you stick it in very black hair.
Merlin: Ow!
Merlin: Ow!
Merlin: Because it's like a trap you'd make on Gilligan's Island or something.
Merlin: It's basically a Burmese hand trap.
John: What is the sharpest thing in the sharps box?
Merlin: um i i'm not sure the very sharpest thing in the sharp box it could it's not really knives because we've got a drawer area for the active knives yeah to me there's there should not be such a thing as an inactive knife if you have an inactive knife that's something you throw away you sing it brother you know what i'm saying yeah
Merlin: I finally got one of those little dinguses.
Merlin: You're not sharpening.
Merlin: You're honing.
Merlin: Oh, honing.
Merlin: You get this little thing.
Merlin: It makes a little V slot.
Merlin: You go shook, shook, shook with your knife, and you're living in a whole new world.
Merlin: So I don't have inactive knives.
John: Now you're cutting the tip of your finger off knife.
Merlin: I also got a mandolin.
Merlin: One of those things for cutting vegetables.
Merlin: Woo!
Merlin: Oh, yeah?
John: Did you get that on the Home Shopping Network?
Merlin: Well, no.
Merlin: I was advised by a friend of mine that I was forbidden from buying one of those unless I also bought chainmail gloves.
Merlin: So I also own chainmail gloves.
John: Yeah.
John: If you're an oyster shucker, you got to have the special gloves.
Merlin: Oh, 100.
Merlin: Now you need a special bespoke glove area.
Merlin: Now here's the thing with the mandolin.
Merlin: You know how sharp the mandolin is?
Merlin: Some people say mandolin.
Merlin: I'm fancy.
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: Super sharp?
Merlin: Well, here's the thing.
Merlin: It's super duper sharp.
Merlin: And it comes with this plastic dingus that you use to hold your onion or similar in place as you go shick, shick, shick over the mandolin area.
Merlin: But now you have to have a place to put the dingus.
Merlin: You want to know how sharp the mandolin is?
Merlin: I cut off part of the plastic on the guide last week.
John: Whoa!
Merlin: You know what I'm saying?
John: Ineffective guide materials.
Merlin: Could God create a cutting guide so strong even his mandolin can't cut it?
Merlin: I'm going to say the thing, honestly, there was a reason the pig came to mind first.
Merlin: Because my daughter, when we have corn on the cob, especially in the summertime, it's a good time for corn right now.
Merlin: She likes her little pigs.
Merlin: You know what I'm talking about?
Merlin: It's like a bookend.
Merlin: One end's a pig with stickies, a pig head.
Merlin: Other end's a pig butt with stickies.
Merlin: You stick it in and you seem to have a corn pig.
Merlin: And it's very funny.
Merlin: Why the hell would you eat corn any other way?
Merlin: The only other acceptable one are ones that look like corn themselves.
John: See, now that's what we have.
John: You have some similar corn stickers?
John: Yeah, they're the eponymous version of it.
Merlin: Is it like half a corn cob, so it looks like it's a comically small end to a cob of corn?
John: No, they look like cornichons.
John: Cornichons.
John: They look like little pickled corns.
Merlin: Oh, my daughter loves those.
Merlin: Baby corns.
John: Yeah, baby corns.
John: They look like those.
John: I always ask for extra and they never give me extra.
John: Extra baby corns?
John: Yeah.
John: How'd you say cornichon?
John: I don't even know.
John: I think cornichons are actually little pickles.
Merlin: Oh, those are good.
John: Little teeny pickles.
John: Those are good.
John: For some reason.
John: You know, I'm pretty fancy, so I'm sure they're pronounced cornichons.
Merlin: You're always thinking about what can I do to elevate this dish.
John: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
John: Put an accent de gueule on it.
John: Accent de gueule.
John: Accent de gueule.
Merlin: Accent de gueule.
Merlin: Accent de grave.
Merlin: Grave.
Merlin: And so frequently it's the pig stickers.
Merlin: The pigs get me.
Merlin: Or various, so, I mean, you've got your bamboo skewers.
Merlin: You've got your metal skewers.
Merlin: Yeah, your bamboo skewers.
Merlin: You've got, I have something called a jacquard, which is a largely unnecessary device that's like, it's basically like 45 tiny knives, and it's like a tenderizer for me.
Merlin: You push down and it goes, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
Merlin: But that's got a built-in protector.
Merlin: Now, let me ask you this.
Merlin: That's my Thursday.
Merlin: That's a lot of my Thursday.
Merlin: Toilet paper, soy drinks, sharp things.
Merlin: A lot of it is, just to close the thread, a lot of it is breaking down cardboard boxes and then putting them somewhere.
Merlin: There's a lot of that.
Merlin: If somebody doesn't do that, nobody does that.
John: So, do you...
John: Like people in ye olden times.
John: Let's picture a farm in Iowa in 18... Is it like a small family farm?
John: 50.
John: It's a little small family farm.
John: Okay.
John: It's corn season.
John: They've got the corn pigs out.
John: Corn's as high as an elephant's eye, even though it's Iowa.
John: Yeah, you know, we were out the other day, and my mom said, look at that corn.
John: And I looked over, and there was some corn.
John: I was like, yeah.
John: And she said...
John: That's big corn.
John: And I was like, it doesn't seem that big.
John: You know, corn gets really high.
John: And she said, knee high by 4th of July.
John: Not anymore.
Merlin: Chuck Grassley says it's all changed.
Merlin: Chuck Grassley says even, first of all, History Channel doesn't show history shows anymore.
Merlin: It drives him crazy.
Merlin: I knew that.
Merlin: He also says he took a selfie with some corn the other day in his home state.
Merlin: And it's way higher than the knee on Independence Day.
John: Oh.
John: Isn't that crazy?
Merlin: Times have changed.
Merlin: I guess so.
Merlin: You know, do you think it's genetics or weather?
Merlin: Might be Monsanto.
Merlin: Fucking Monsanto.
John: Anyway, here we are in our farm.
Merlin: Yeah, it's 1800s, right?
John: Sometime like that, yeah.
John: And so what they did, I think, is that when the spring came out, they put their sweaters away.
John: They put them away.
John: They put them up in the attic or they put them... Yeah, you put them up.
John: Put them up, right.
John: And then you get down the spring things.
John: Now, do you...
John: put up the winter things and get down the spring things?
John: Or are those pig corn stickers in that drawer all year round, even though you're only going to be eating corn?
Merlin: That's a probative question.
Merlin: That's a fucking good question.
Merlin: Okay, first of all, if I lived in a different climate, I would do that more.
John: It's always 52.
John: The coldest winter I ever spent was the summer in San Francisco, as my dad said.
John: That was Winston Churchill.
John: Every fucking time he said that.
John: I said that every fucking time.
Merlin: Even that's changing.
Merlin: Put a fork in that because we're going to come back to that.
Merlin: No, I don't because all my clothes are the same.
Merlin: Basically, I dress like a developmentally disabled lumberjack and I always have.
Merlin: Like a lesbian lumberjack.
John: Like a good, like a strong look.
John: Sometimes you'll decide that you have a fancy accoutrement.
John: You'll get a pair of shoes.
John: I do have a nice pair of shoes.
John: You'll get a thing that you'll say like, aha, my thing.
John: And you'll add that to the... I need a good thing.
John: Maybe a brooch.
John: Maybe I should start wearing brooches.
John: Somebody saw a picture.
John: I posted a picture the other day and someone... This is the thing about the internet that always confuses.
John: You're wearing like a Wittgenstein hat?
John: Yeah, a Wittgenstein hat.
John: Cause I got a friend in Lichtenstein right now and she was like, I love it here.
John: And I was like, get one of these hats.
John: I don't think they have them for sale anymore.
John: But anyway, somebody was looking at that picture and they, I don't, so maybe, maybe people do this.
John: I'm not, I know they do.
John: But like they zoomed in.
Merlin: I hate when people do this.
John: This is why I don't put anything on the Internet anymore.
John: Zoomed so far in.
John: And the picture was taken in like a bar in Innsbruck, Austria.
John: And I'm standing leaning on a piano.
John: And, you know, I think about that time in my life and it's a pretty happy time in my life.
John: It's maybe as close to.
John: Certainly as close to professional happiness as I ever got.
John: Hang on.
John: Is Gordon Shumway from Lichtenstein?
John: No, no, no, no.
John: She's from back east, but she's like, you know, she was in Lichtenstein for doing something.
John: Who knows what people do?
Merlin: You look happy in this.
Merlin: You got good frames.
John: Yeah, I was just, I was just.
John: So you got maybe like an Orvis shirt?
John: Something like that.
John: Oh, no, no, no.
John: That's some, that's an old.
John: Is that a board shirt?
John: No, it's an old like Navy wool shirt that I wore.
John: I wore until I wore it out.
Hmm.
John: But, you know, Longwinters were doing good.
John: We were doing well in Europe.
John: We were on tour.
John: It was like the most stable version of the band.
John: And there were still problems, Merlin.
John: There were still problems.
John: But I was happy.
John: I really was.
John: We went to Croatia.
John: I was like, I just felt good.
John: Felt good in life.
Merlin: So you put up a photo like this and you say, this is a photo from a different time.
Merlin: And I look happy in this.
Merlin: Look at my face.
Merlin: Look how happy I am.
John: What do people do?
John: Well, so one of the comments was, you still in that pinky ring phase?
John: Yeah.
John: And I was like, what does that even mean?
John: What is a pinky ring?
John: Now you're zooming in on your own photo like a monster.
John: So I zoomed in on my own photo, looked at it more carefully than I ever had.
John: Who does this?
John: And there was something.
John: There's like a ring around my pinky.
John: And I was like, what is that?
John: I've never, ever been in a pinky ring phase.
John: And immediately I commented just to assure this person, like, listen, I've never been on a pinky ring phase.
John: I don't know what you're.
John: I don't know what you found there.
John: It's an interesting artifact.
John: Now I'm thinking about it.
John: Is it a string?
John: Is it a thing from a key chain that I had on my pinky?
John: I do that sometimes if I've got a set of keys, you know, like there's a, there's a life hack.
John: You got a set of keys.
John: You need to keep them handy, but you don't want to have them in your hand because you're doing other things like,
John: like getting a piano ready yeah so you slip the key ring around your pinky right right right the keys are right there but you still have all your digits it's right on there but i don't know i don't know if that's i don't know if that's what it is there's no way i'll ever know you can never blade runner zoom in that picture enough to ever know what that that ring around my pinky is but like
John: Like to find it, I had to scan both hands and be like – and looking specifically at the pinkies and then I saw it.
John: I perceived it.
John: But I wouldn't have – I wouldn't have ever – if you'd said like scan this picture and find one weird thing.
John: I, I would, that was not, I won't do it.
Merlin: I will not do it.
Merlin: And I hate it when people do it with me.
Merlin: This is why I don't put anything on the internet anymore.
Merlin: It's because all of my friends do that.
Merlin: They zoom in and then they have a remark and they're so fine.
John: What do they find about God?
Merlin: It could just be, well, first of all, if you put a picture of your cat, every cat is a sweet, precious angel and you should only say nice things about the cat.
Merlin: Then people say things that aren't nice about the cat.
Merlin: And it makes me very sad.
Merlin: How the cat is ugly.
Merlin: I thought you were supposed to only say nice things about the cat.
Merlin: but they're looking in the background I mean it's one thing to like look at people's books but now I think part of it is well this I'm getting ahead of myself but I think part of it is now people stage photos for Instagram with exactly what they want in it and there's something in the background it's a very arch thing that you're supposed to find like it's fucking where's Waldo do you know do you mean the Jalissa Castordale might not actually be in Liechtenstein but this whole thing is just a you think she's gaslighting you
John: The thing is, if you look at my Instagram right now, every single person I know is either in Hawaii or London.
John: And I don't believe that that's possible.
John: I don't think that's possible.
John: There was a wedding there.
Merlin: A lot of people went to London.
Merlin: But there's so many levels to this that I find personally offensive.
Merlin: First of all, stop looking at my photo.
Merlin: Don't look at my photo.
Merlin: Look at the thing that I'm showing you in the photo.
Merlin: Stop looking at everything else.
Merlin: Don't do that.
Merlin: It's a picture of the cat, not a picture of the... And then if you do notice something you're curious about, fucking keep it to yourself.
Okay.
Merlin: What are you, you're Gary the privacy clown.
Merlin: Now you're going to share some concerns that you have about it.
Merlin: So now, so then you make a remark about it and then I or you, one is expected to respond with a reason why there's a thing in the picture that they noticed.
Merlin: That is not what a photo is for.
Merlin: This is not a court case.
Merlin: You know, you're not having a, you know, deposing somebody.
John: It's so funny because... What is wrong with people?
John: My house is so full of shit that every time I take a picture, I'm like, oh, you could see everything in my whole life just by examining one square foot of my house because it's like, oh, look at that.
John: It's a special forces manual.
Merlin: That's a nice picture of your mom.
Merlin: Is that your kid's handwriting?
Merlin: Your kid's handwriting is not very good.
Merlin: Yeah, that stuff.
Merlin: What is that?
Merlin: Is that an Australian flag in the background?
Merlin: Why do you have a clock of Alaska?
Merlin: Do you even snow ski?
John: I did that one thing where I... You can't even use the fireplace.
John: Why do you have fireplace tools?
John: I took a picture of the envelope that my... I know, I know.
Merlin: I cringed when you did that.
John: I couldn't believe it.
John: I couldn't believe that I had put an envelope, that there was an envelope behind it that had my address in it.
Merlin: John threw out a bunch of his mail, including his Heisenberg letter.
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: Or Schrodinger's letter.
Merlin: You threw it all out, and you took the time to obfuscate an address on that envelope, but bad on you.
John: Yes, I forgot that there was an envelope behind it.
John: I couldn't believe it.
Merlin: Oh, I was rolling my eyes at myself.
Merlin: You shot your own dick.
Merlin: You put up a dick pic.
Merlin: Shot it you shot you shot your dick and you put it on Instagram You're trying to say oh look at this precious key and go.
Merlin: I can see your dick.
Merlin: I can see your dick It's because I have concerns John.
John: I have concerns about your privacy Oh, you know what that might have been what started it all those all those all those ebay pictures where somebody's like I'm giving I'm selling my washing machine and then it was once he started with one reflective teapot I think you've seen this you've seen this this was one of the og memes and
Merlin: It was a guy who was going to put a teapot, like a silvery pot of some kind on eBay.
Merlin: And it was very, very reflective.
Merlin: And you could see a naked Rubenesque man with a penis taking a picture of a teapot.
John: It was like one of the old masters.
John: And was he was it intentional or not?
John: Did we ever find out?
John: Oh, that's a good question.
John: Because it seems like a lemon party thing.
John: Yeah.
John: Well, yeah, it was like it was like it seemed like there are all kinds of like like check out my check out my junk options in the universe.
Yeah.
John: And that could have been one of them.
John: eBay teapot reflection.
John: Oh, there it is.
John: There it is.
Merlin: It's from pretty far away, too.
John: Just like it was 2011.
Merlin: I follow a Tumblr that's nothing but people trying to photograph mirrors for eBay.
Merlin: And the ways that people concoct to try and photograph a mirror without them and the camera being in the picture.
Merlin: I'll send this to you.
John: Oh, there he is.
John: There's eBay.
John: Oh, eBay.
John: Teapot reflection.
Merlin: How much do you think he thought he was going to get a lot for that?
Merlin: I mean, that's like an S&H Green Stamps kind of teapot.
Merlin: It's not even like a nice teapot.
John: I have no idea.
John: Would you buy a used teapot?
John: I have no idea why people put certain things on the internet.
John: And it's the garage sale problem, which is...
John: they're earning money 50 cents at a time.
John: And personally, I don't know how
John: I could make a living 50 cents at a time.
John: I live in an economy where I'm always hoping to get a big... Pull down a big score.
John: Sure, like a Lufthansa heist.
John: Yeah, Lufthansa heist, right.
John: I know somebody inside.
John: But the key is don't talk about it afterwards.
Merlin: Nope, I'm going to go out to Idlewild, you don't buy any furs.
John: But...
John: But there are loads and loads and loads and loads of people out there making a living 15 cents at a time.
John: And so I go on eBay and I'm scanning along and it's like, huh, this guy's selling 42 different thrift store ties and they're all 25 cents.
John: How does that scale?
John: How does that scale?
John: I don't know.
Merlin: God, I got no idea.
Merlin: I mean, it feels like you understand that people –
Merlin: I feel like people would stop collecting aluminum cans for return if there was not adequate money in their mind for there to be a return on investment for their time.
Merlin: So when people go through our trash and our recycling to get aluminum cans, I say, Hakuna Matata, please don't make a mess.
Merlin: It's my main thing.
Merlin: Don't dump stuff on the sidewalk or throw trash on the sidewalk.
Merlin: But to me, this feels more like you're returning one can at a time.
Merlin: When you're selling 25 cent ties.
John: It's the gold mining thing.
John: Oh, yeah.
John: The thing about the gold miners is that they're up there mining gold and they're working their ass off.
John: If you could get rich mining gold, well, there'd be more rich gold miners.
John: Like gold miners are busting gold.
John: Every day, busting their hump or whatever, whatever the term.
John: You got to go out and reconnoiter the rim.
Merlin: But the thing is, if you were there early, you might have gotten a real good claim where it's just all the color was right there on top.
Merlin: You could just pick it up.
Merlin: But that's 1880.
Merlin: That's well, that's 1848.
Merlin: It's early 1849 in San Francisco.
John: I'm thinking about Alaska, Alaska.
John: When was that boom?
John: Well, that was 1890s.
John: You know, you guys had already had your boom.
John: San Francisco had already been made and broken by then.
John: Ugh, so many times.
John: But Seattle was just starting.
John: Seattle made all its money out of Alaska gold.
John: Okay.
John: But the thing about gold mining is that the people that are into gold mining, they feel like the gold is there.
John: The gold is free.
John: If you just... It's not... You're not working...
John: You're not paying for the gold.
John: The gold is free.
John: You just have to get it.
John: And so in their minds, like the labor that it takes to get the gold out, there's some kind of medium of exchange where it's different than working.
John: It's not a job where you work and somebody pays you.
John: It's that the gold is just there.
John: You just have to get it.
Merlin: It's almost a little like gambling, but like you put up with some stuff because all you really need is one big payday.
John: Right.
John: And you're also and yeah, right.
John: And it's, you know, like it's there.
John: You're looking for a big score, but you're also like every time you see that glint of gold in the pan, you feel like you're getting away with something.
Right.
John: It's a lot like gambling.
John: Again, you get a little bit of a win and it keeps you playing.
John: And so I think it's probably that they put up all these eBay ties for 25 cents and one of them one day sells for $10 and they're like fucking hit the jackpot.
John: But I don't, you know, like people say to me all the time, like, oh, you should open a vintage store.
John: And I'm like, God, why?
Merlin: People say the silliest things.
Merlin: It's that, what an odd thing to say.
Merlin: That's like saying, oh, you know, you really like to sing in church and you're 40, you should try to get on Broadway.
Merlin: It's like, what's involved in running a retail store?
Merlin: The first significant gold rush in the United States was in Cabarrus County, North Carolina in 1799 at today's Reed's Gold Mine.
Merlin: Okay.
Merlin: Then you had the Georgia gold rush.
Merlin: Then the California gold rush.
Merlin: But, you know, people, in order for there to be a gold rush.
Merlin: Hope Alaska?
Merlin: Is that right?
Merlin: Well, no.
Merlin: Hope was not.
Merlin: Oh, sorry.
Merlin: Sorry.
Merlin: Resurrection Creek near Hope Alaska was the site of Alaska's first, I mean, the internet science site.
Merlin: First gold rush in the mid-1890s.
Merlin: You also got Nome and 40 Mile River.
John: So the big gold rush up there wasn't even in Alaska.
John: It was in Canada.
John: Hmm.
John: But that was... In BC?
John: In Yukon Territories.
John: That was Dawson.
John: The big money up there in Dawson.
John: Klondike Gold Rush.
John: There you go.
John: That's the one.
John: Ham hocks and guitar strings.
John: That's the Gold Rush.
John: When I was about 10 years old, I guess, my family, by which I mean my dad's family, we all got together and
John: and hiked the Chilkoot Trail together, which was like a full week of hiking over the Golden Staircase, they called it.
Merlin: I see lines and lines of people going over some very treacherous territory.
John: Yes, very treacherous.
John: Oh my goodness.
John: Trip.
John: And as we hiked the trail, there are still, at the time, in the 1970s,
John: You know, there were all kinds of because because those people would like go up the trail and they'd be discarding the stuff that they did.
John: Their horse skeletons and boots and big, you know, big steam engines that were just sort of that fell off that mountain.
John: And it was they're real focused on what they need to do.
John: And they're just shedding stuff.
John: Well, what was crazy is that at the Canadian border there, which is at the top of that big mountain,
John: there was a Canadian Mountie station, and the Mounties were stationed there, and every person that came across in that entire huge...
John: line of people, they would weigh their supplies.
John: And if they didn't have enough food to last the winter, they would turn them around.
John: Oh, and it's also, it's probably like going to the dump where they weigh your truck before and after.
John: Well, they, they just, you know, you had to prove that you, they would open your bag.
John: It was like TSA and they would go through and say, you know, you're not going to, I'm not going to bury another Batman.
Merlin: This must, this must end.
John: Right.
John: They're like, you don't need this tuxedo.
John: But you are definitely going to need one more shovel than you have.
John: And then there was a whole secondary economy of people who would carry your bag up the hill for you or carry your sack of grain up there.
John: Interesting.
John: There were people that were opening little shops to sell you the stuff that the Mounties said you needed.
John: Like the town of Skagway, Alaska, turned into a whole booming town.
John: Well, that's the story.
John: That's the legacy of Snuffy Smith or Soapy Smith.
John: Soapy Smith, the...
John: Soapy Smith, the gunslinger.
John: Oh, Laska, you really learn a lot growing up, even about Canada.
John: But, you know, but Seattle.
John: So there's a story about the boat of gold.
John: What is that boat called?
John: There was some boat that arrived from the Klondike here in Seattle.
John: It was loaded with gold and it created a frenzy.
John: Frenzy, I tell you.
John: Anyway, those are the same people that are putting ties on eBay.
John: Oh, I get it.
John: Putting, you know, putting little pots on eBay.
John: They're panning for quarters.
John: Yeah, they're panning for quarters.
John: I don't get it.
John: I mean, there's a part of me that gets it because I look around here and somebody says, what about that?
John: You know, what about that button from the World's Fair?
John: Do you really need that?
John: And I'm like, well, what's the cost of ownership for that?
John: It's worth something.
Merlin: Well, it's worth something to you.
Merlin: I just don't understand the little nickel and dime stuff of like, I mean, I don't send stuff back to Amazon because it's too much of a pain.
Merlin: I got even got one of those nice tape applying gun appliances.
Merlin: With the handle?
Merlin: I got one of those.
Merlin: I got a printer.
Merlin: I can print things.
Merlin: But I hate putting things in boxes.
Merlin: And I can't imagine having to put things in boxes for a quarter.
Merlin: Do you think they make it up in handling?
John: Well, but, you know, if you got too much handling, a lot of them have free shipping.
John: Free shipping.
John: Come on.
John: What a scam.
John: Well, I mean, sure, it's baked into their buy-in.
John: Free to who?
John: I don't want to get into eBay politics.
John: You don't?
John: Well, I don't understand them as well.
Okay.
John: I have a thing upstairs that I don't know what to do with.
John: I found a framed photograph, which is a scan of the first ever photo of the Earth taken from space.
John: That's a good photo.
John: But it's not the big blue marble in space.
John: It's the first ever, like,
John: like unmanned satellite or whatever that got shot up there, took a picture of Earth, and it's just a, it's a series of little strips, like scanned, like there was a scanner that was like, probably because they can only send so much data at a time.
John: That's right.
Merlin: They probably had to send strips.
John: It was tiny little, tiny little data.
Merlin: This is before Apollo 17 is what you're telling me.
Merlin: Well, I don't know exactly when it is from.
John: Okay.
Merlin: Milestones, I'm looking up milestones in space photography.
John: It is very low resolution because of this construction out of strips.
Merlin: I see it.
Merlin: It looks like it came out of Michael Cohen's shredder.
Merlin: This is Lunar Orbiter 1, August 23, 1966.
Merlin: Lunar Orbiter 1.
Merlin: Wow, the OG.
Merlin: It shows half of Earth from Istanbul to Cape Town and areas east shrouded in night.
John: So I have this thing.
John: But here's the rub.
John: It is, this picture is four feet long by two feet high and is framed very elegantly in a mid-century frame.
John: of the period, and the thing looks, I mean, it fills a wall.
John: Is this one of those things where the frame might be nicer than the photo?
John: Well, what I think is that this thing is from Boeing.
John: that this picture hung on the wall of the dude because lunar orbiter one was made by Boeing.
John: Hmm.
John: Hmm.
John: And so this picture hung on the wall of the people's office where the lunar orbiter was made.
John: There's no other explanation for it.
John: This thing is so big and so like framed that it was, um, it was, this was a big thing.
John: This is an expensive thing.
John: Hmm.
John: to have had made even and so i look at it and i'm like this there's a story this thing has a story to tell
John: As an artifact writ large.
Merlin: As an artifact of the space race.
Merlin: We're not talking about the frame.
Merlin: We're not talking about the widely available photo.
Merlin: We're not talking about that reproduction.
Merlin: We're talking about in situ as an existing Uber object.
Merlin: This might have some portent.
John: Right, because I don't know at the time how many pictures of this picture were made that were that big.
John: Right.
John: This is, this isn't like the big blue marble picture that went around the world.
John: This was like a, this is amazing.
John: But by the time, so this happened in 1966, but the space thing was going so fast, like eight months later, this picture would have been obsolete.
John: They would have had a hundred, a hundred wonderful pictures of the earth taken from space.
John: Right.
John: So for them to have framed this
John: it had to have been framed in the moment.
John: Like, we have it.
John: The first picture of Earth.
John: Ta-da!
John: Interesting.
Merlin: You're doing your own little self-antiques roadshow.
Merlin: Yeah, I'm trying.
Merlin: It could be what this is.
Merlin: It could be what this represents.
Merlin: It could be who this belongs to.
Merlin: It could be the circumstances under which it was put together.
Merlin: You can go out and buy a baseball at a store, but that doesn't mean it's going to be signed by Hank Aaron.
Merlin: That's just a bunch of marks made by ink.
Merlin: That's right.
Merlin: And yet that makes a difference.
John: So whose office did this hang in?
John: And the thing is, I didn't find it until the mid-2000s.
John: Because you hadn't tidied?
John: You mean you found it at a thrift store?
John: I found it in a thrift store in a Boeing area.
John: Okay.
John: Here in the West, we talk about, you know, there are Boeing areas and there are Boeing areas.
John: There's Boeing areas.
John: We went and ate at a place that you indicated was near Boeing.
John: That's a very Boeing area place.
John: Okay.
John: Okay.
John: So here's this thing.
John: And so what does that mean?
John: This person's office, he finally retired?
John: Mm-hmm.
John: You know, or something they finally cleared.
John: They cleared out something.
John: Maybe he passed.
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: And somebody didn't realize that it was that it was precious.
John: Or it was just like that.
John: I mean, we got so many.
John: It's got so many of these things.
John: Do we really need another one of these?
John: Well, and they're engineers there.
John: They don't have any sentimentality.
John: No.
John: They're just like, well, I'm in the ring.
John: I mean, the only reason that it probably hung on his wall is that he never bothered to take it down.
John: Yeah.
John: But so here's this thing.
John: He's focused on data.
John: I have filled this artifact with context that I can neither confirm nor deny.
John: But it hasn't been disproven.
John: That's right.
John: Now I feel like this belongs in a museum.
John: Obviously.
Merlin: That might be the thing that completes somebody's collection.
John: But at the same time, if I put it on eBay, I could get 50 cents.
John: I don't go to the space cons.
John: I'm sure there's got to be a space con now, right?
Merlin: The kind of place where you could buy a moon rock or a meteorite or something?
Merlin: I don't think... Those are very expensive.
Merlin: I think you're not supposed to have moon rocks, right?
John: No, you're not.
John: Isn't that right?
John: Yeah.
John: You can't have moon rocks, but you can have meteorites, but they're expensive.
John: There's meteorite hunters.
Merlin: I heard a podcast about this the other day.
Merlin: There's people, there's people, they get trained and they go out and they find meteorites.
Merlin: And you can even, you can even make money off things that have been hit by meteorites.
Merlin: You could sell a car.
Merlin: If your car has been hit by a meteorite, you could sell it for like four times the blue book value.
Really?
Merlin: Apparently you might want to think about it.
Merlin: It looks like you're trying to move an RV.
Yeah.
Merlin: That was an RV hit by a meteorite.
Merlin: Add some zeros.
John: Who has the land to keep a picture or to keep a whole car just because it got hit by a meteorite?
John: Jay Leno.
John: Right.
John: Yeah.
Merlin: He probably has a whole fucking garage that's just motorcycles that have been hit by meteorites.
Merlin: Just meteorite motorcycles?
Merlin: God, he annoys me.
Merlin: Just the whole idea of him annoys me.
John: Jay Leno annoys you because you remember when he was a guest on Dave's show and he was hilarious.
John: He used to be so good.
John: And then he stopped being funny and then he was the... Imagine that, Mr. Potato Head down in Vietnam.
Merlin: No eat, no eat.
Merlin: He was funny.
Merlin: That's how he talks.
John: He was funny.
John: He was funny and Jay liked him.
John: I mean, Dave liked him.
Merlin: They liked each other.
Merlin: You could tell.
Merlin: We liked him.
Merlin: We liked him.
Merlin: We got a little, you know what?
Merlin: He's the cilantro comic, right?
Merlin: A little bit can be really, really fun, but you don't want to eat a bowl of Jay.
John: No, you don't get a bowl of J. But it was so, back then, you know, when Dave really liked somebody and everybody, and it was just such a, it was such a good feeling because you were always afraid that Dave, when Dave didn't like somebody, it was going to get really weird.
John: That's right.
John: Yeah, Dave could make it weird.
Merlin: Oh, that was his whole thing.
Merlin: He made it so weird.
Merlin: I loved it when he made it weird.
Merlin: Story goes, the Twice Told tale that everybody knows at this point was that... I still go back and watch his first performance on Carson sometimes...
Merlin: not because it's that funny.
Merlin: It's kind of funny.
Merlin: Like you could tell it's Dave.
Merlin: It's kind of funny, but mainly it's in the moment you can see in his eyes, the moment he looks over, you can hear Johnny laughing, but also when you, you see him look over to the panel and see that Johnny is happy.
Merlin: And then he gives him the okay and calls him over.
Merlin: And you can just see like what we know is that like, that is the beginning of his huge career, but also just like that is the culmination of that man's life.
Merlin: yeah it's it's so great to watch um have you ever seen him on the gong show i've seen him on i want to say like the newlywed game maybe i've seen him on things around like in the late 70s yeah he's so awkward i mean like kind of by design he was you know he was like up on the he was one of the gongers he was the jamie oh it's up jimmy far and jp morgan jp morgan morgan so
John: Uh, and, uh, and he's got that really big gap in his front teeth and he's got his Dave thing.
John: He's being Dave, but he's kind of always out of remove.
Merlin: He's a creation of TV.
Merlin: He knows that he's on TV, being on TV, being separate from TV.
Merlin: He maybe didn't invent that, but boy, was he ever good at that.
Merlin: So we knew Johnny liked him.
Merlin: So Johnny basically was, I guess, like, I don't know, the executive producer of his show, but then had this whole laundry list of stuff that Dave was not allowed to do.
Merlin: Forgive me, I know everyone knows this.
Merlin: I don't know this.
Merlin: Well, the story was that, I forget the guy's name, wasn't Fred, but there was a dude who was his liaison with the Carson group.
Merlin: And he had a whole bunch of stuff he was not allowed to do.
Merlin: The two biggest ones were, he was not allowed to have a classic TV show band, like an orchestra.
Merlin: Oh, because that would that would kind of cut into Johnny's thing.
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: And I don't know what the specifics were.
Merlin: But essentially, he was not allowed to have people on.
Merlin: Well, very specifically, if somebody was on Johnny's show, like that week, they weren't going to be on Dave.
Merlin: But I think it even went to the level of like a Johnny level guest, like was kind of not allowed.
Merlin: Oh, and that is how he got into your, uh, like, uh, Larry, but Melman's who worked at a drug clinic.
Merlin: He was a receptionist at a drug clinic.
Merlin: You get your, uh, Harvey P cars.
Merlin: Oh, the P car show.
Merlin: You remember, do you remember you get your Charles?
Merlin: Well, I guess Charles Grodin, I guess would be a later one.
Merlin: But that's why he had to get so weird.
Merlin: He had to get so weird because, I don't know.
Merlin: That's so great, though.
Merlin: He was so special.
Merlin: But then you got Jayla.
Merlin: Don't get me straight about Jayla.
John: All the times.
John: I had a TV that I kept in the closet.
John: It was a little black and white TV.
John: It was red.
John: It was a red, portable black and white TV.
John: Like a Panasonic.
John: Like a Panasonic.
John: And I kept it in the closet because I could lay in bed at night and watch the Carson show and
John: But if I heard someone in the hall, I could close the closet door.
John: Because you don't own a TV.
John: I don't even own a TV.
John: Right.
John: I didn't then and I don't now.
John: Never have.
John: But I closed the closet door and then I could, you know, like, and my mom, if she opened the door, she'd be like, oh, okay, well, there's a weird glow coming from the closet and he's fake snoring, but everything's fine.
John: Probably poltergeist.
Yeah.
John: So, and then I would open the door, you know, when whoever it was that was going to the bathroom went back into their room, I would open the door and I would keep watching the cars.
John: And I would, oh, I would laugh.
John: I would laugh and laugh.
John: Oh, yes.
John: Laugh and laugh and laugh.
John: I never wanted to go to sleep.
John: I never wanted to go to sleep.
John: I always wanted to stay up as late as I could.
Merlin: I think it's sickening.
Merlin: It's sickening to this day that school for children begins at the times that it begins.
Merlin: It's inhuman.
Merlin: At the time, we were made to feel bad.
Merlin: I was made to feel bad that I was physically incapable of going to sleep before 1230 a.m.
Merlin: when I was 14.
John: Yes, we were made to feel bad.
Merlin: You were made to feel so bad, and you were supposed to be ashamed about it.
Merlin: You need one more thing to be ashamed about when you're 14.
John: What's your problem in the morning?
Merlin: Why don't you just go to bed earlier?
Merlin: Come on.
Merlin: It's physical.
Merlin: It's real.
Merlin: It's fucking puberty.
Merlin: That is your body.
Merlin: The latest thing I heard was that a teenager should get nine hours of sleep a night.
Merlin: Hear, hear.
Merlin: Now, you and I like nine hours of sleep because that's just the thing we like to do.
Merlin: But you need nine.
Merlin: And then I'd fall asleep in class.
Merlin: Guess what?
Merlin: More shame.
Merlin: Have some more shame, Merlin.
John: You know, I would go in elementary school because I had this in elementary school.
John: I would go to the nurse's office.
John: Yeah.
John: I would stay up all late and then I would stay up super late and then I would fall asleep in school.
John: So I would say, teacher, I'm feeling bad.
John: And I would go to the nurse's office and they'd say, oh, you know, why don't you lay down?
Merlin: And I would lay down and I'd sleep for an hour and a half.
Merlin: Did you tell him you had a particular ailment?
John: Oh, just like, oh, I just feel I got a headache and I feel like sick.
John: So after I did it for, you know, like the 10th time, they sent a letter home to my mom and they were like, he needs to get more sleep at night because he's pretending to be sick to come sleep in the nurse's office.
John: Was that the first she'd heard of it?
John: Oh, you know, but she gets up at 4.30 in the morning.
John: She must have been ashamed.
John: Well, it was then.
John: It was then, right?
John: Yeah.
John: But her attitude was always that the schools were fucked.
John: Interesting.
John: So she always, you know... We're not supposed to say that out loud, just so you know.
John: Yeah, I know.
John: But she would march down to the school every once in a while and say, you know, waving some paper in the principal's face and say...
John: I think some – my sister's second grade teacher gave her a bad grade on something, gave her a C on a piece of paper.
Merlin: She's playing close in the world according to Garp.
Merlin: She's going to go and speak some truth to power about how her boy is being treated.
John: Well, so she, my mom went and re-corrected my sister's test.
John: Oh.
John: And then went down and was like, if you will notice exhibit B, she actually got this answer right, but was marked down two points because why?
John: And in the end, like everybody got disciplined and there was, you know, I mean, you don't unleash her unless you want, unless you want to see into the seventh level.
Yeah.
John: You know, you don't turn, don't turn my mom on.
Merlin: I mean, there's all kinds of things where I just, I've learned not to provoke certainly certain like groups of people.
Merlin: Like you don't want to provoke the police or QAnon, right?
Merlin: True.
Merlin: You got to be real circumspect about, you know, people are always like, why don't you do more things?
Merlin: Why aren't you on discord?
Merlin: Why aren't you doing this?
Merlin: Why aren't you doing that?
Merlin: It's like, cause I have a fucking life.
Merlin: Sorry, I hate to I hate to put it in such blunt terms.
Merlin: I can't spend my weekend arguing with someone I don't know about something I don't actually care about.
Merlin: I've learned not to provoke strangers unless it really benefits me or is on brand.
Merlin: So but like, I think you need to learn there are certain people like your mom in life or perhaps your sister, Susan, where you want to be real careful about how you how close you get your hand to the dragon's mouth.
John: I don't provoke them.
John: You've learned.
John: You can provoke me all day.
John: All you'll get is the storm around.
John: I'll storm around.
John: Stomp, stomp, stomp.
John: Steam.
But they're not.
John: But they don't just storm around.
John: They get, you know, they like get quiet and their eyes get dark.
John: Squeaking breaks outside your house.
John: Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump.
John: I, you know, I just had a thing the other day where I realized, you know what I need to do to make Twitter better is just turn off retweets for everybody.
John: Oh, yeah.
John: My friends aren't really that bad.
Merlin: That's how a lot of stuff slips in.
John: It's what they retweet that's bad.
John: You're absolutely right.
John: Yeah.
John: If you just read their stuff.
John: If you only saw their original stuff, you would think it's a different person.
John: A different person.
John: But they retweet stuff that we're just like, are you serious?
John: And they retweet it without comment.
John: So it's just like, I guess this is what you're into.
Merlin: Tangerine pumpkin heads at it again.
Merlin: Well, look at Drumps.
Merlin: Please stop doing that.
Merlin: Please stop saying that.
Merlin: It's not as clever or as useful as it sounds to you.
Merlin: Please stop saying it.
Merlin: Emoticon pumpkin.
Merlin: Michael, gif of pancakes flipping sent to Michael Cohen.
Merlin: Oh, great.
Merlin: Thanks for that.
Merlin: That was super.
Merlin: No.
Merlin: So Thursday is a day that I... Thursday is my Thursday.
Merlin: And so that's a day that I do a lot of those kinds of things.
Merlin: I wish I had a Thursday.
Merlin: Huh?
John: I don't have a Thursday.
Merlin: You might need a Thursday.
Merlin: Monday.
Merlin: Monday is a day.
Merlin: Monday I get up and I do a lot of those things, but with electronic things.
John: You talk to me on Mondays.
John: Is this always post you having electronically cleaned your desk?
Merlin: Monday is my Monday.
Merlin: So a lot of what I accomplish, like right now, right now things are pretty chill.
Merlin: It's summertime and it's camp.
Merlin: And camp starts an hour later than school, which is such a blessing.
Merlin: That's nice.
Merlin: It's so nice to not have to be out of the house at 730.
Merlin: So there's a little bit of chill time.
Merlin: You can hang out a little bit.
Merlin: You can read.
Merlin: You can do whatever.
Merlin: And so a lot of what I do, I'm in Google Sheets, and I'm doing things on Monday mornings a lot of the time.
Merlin: Sure, Google Sheets.
Merlin: When you contacted me just a minute ago for our phone call, I was doing some hard drive maintaining.
Merlin: Oh, were you defragging it?
Merlin: No, we don't need that so much anymore.
Merlin: But I do run an application that shows me files that are very large that I might choose to get rid of.
Merlin: I do those kinds of things.
Merlin: I make sure my backups work.
John: I do those kinds of things on a Monday.
Merlin: Because I think Monday can be a difficult thing.
Merlin: Monday, you do not have to be a cat to believe this.
Merlin: I think... Kathy, too.
Merlin: Kathy hated Monday.
Merlin: Ack!
Merlin: Ack!
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Merlin: Mack Weldon.
Merlin: Bathing suit season again?
Merlin: Irving?
Merlin: Hack?
Merlin: But, you know, sometimes doing dumb, rote things...
Merlin: This is really not interesting.
Merlin: A lot of what I do, I'm trying to improve as a person.
Merlin: And one of the things I'm trying to, no, no, no, in ways that wouldn't matter to strangers.
Merlin: But no, but you seem improved.
Merlin: Well, thanks.
Merlin: I'm trying to do more useful things around the house.
Merlin: So I'm having tighter and tighter schedules of do this kind of thing.
Merlin: Often I try to take out the recycling and the compost before they're full for lots of good reasons.
Merlin: I'll do those kinds of things.
Merlin: So a Monday morning for me is a lot of like make sure the dishes are done before we leave for the day.
Merlin: The electronic things.
Merlin: I'm doing a lot of my e-work.
John: E-work.
Merlin: Right?
Merlin: So I'll send out like statistics to our beloved sponsors and things like that.
Merlin: I'll do that like on a Monday.
Merlin: Post on the QAnon forums.
Merlin: I'll post on the QAnon.
Merlin: Are you watching the water right now?
Merlin: There's a storm coming.
Yeah.
Merlin: Have you really dipped into Q yet?
Merlin: You know, the thing is, I've got a – I'm the only one – on Dubai Friday, I'm the only one obsessed with this.
John: Have you dove deep yet?
John: The problem is that I am still occasionally – and I know this is wrong –
John: Still, occasionally, I will hang out over on 14.
John: Okay, you really need to stop doing that.
Merlin: I feel like we've had this discussion so many times.
Merlin: I know.
Merlin: And the only people that... And each time you say it, you're like, oh, you know, I came on the cat again.
Merlin: I really, I need to find a different way to unwind.
Merlin: You're like, you keep coming on that cat, that cat's going to be fucking mad.
Merlin: And you keep looking at the fours and the eights and the chans.
Merlin: I know.
John: The only people that even know what I'm talking about all are in agreement that I need to stop doing it.
John: And it's always in the middle of the night.
Merlin: No dissent on this.
John: It's a voice vote.
John: Because 98% of the people are like, what's that?
John: And then the 2% are like, Jesus Christ, don't do that.
John: Right.
John: Get off of there.
John: I don't know why.
Merlin: This is your Pete Townsend research.
John: Yeah, I joined, I joined that community a long, long, long, long, long time ago.
John: And there's still like some, some tiny little bit of like, maybe it's still there.
John: Maybe the, maybe the funny people are still there and they're not.
John: But so I was there in the, in that area.
John: You saw it coming.
John: Of the internet.
John: When, when Q. When Q started dropping crumbs, you were there.
John: When Q arrived.
John: And so, and I was there for the, for all the like, don't believe everything on the internet.
John: And then I was like, no, wait, he's, you know, he's got the goods.
Merlin: So much is happening right now.
Merlin: So much is happening right now.
John: Oh no, he doesn't have the goods, but he does have the goods.
John: Oh my God.
John: There was a guy on there not very long ago who was like,
John: all right, I'm a CIA contract killer.
John: Go ahead.
John: Ask me anything.
John: Yeah.
John: Right.
Merlin: And people were like certified, right?
Merlin: A certified person.
John: Yeah.
John: But then people are asking him questions and he's, he's answering them.
John: And there are all these people that are like clearly in there are people on there that are in the game.
John: Yeah.
John: And, and so you're like, well, now wait a minute.
John: What am I watching here?
John: What am I seeing here?
John: Is this, is there, is this just like a bunch of fucking cosplay?
Merlin: Are you aware of the historical precedent for Q?
Merlin: Do you know how long it's been around?
Merlin: Let me share with you a paragraph from this entirely credulous article I read the other day.
Merlin: This is a disinterested third party interviewing some of the people in queue.
Merlin: I love it when you get like this.
Merlin: This moment.
Merlin: This movement, centered around the 17th letter of the alphabet.
John: Okay.
John: Get it?
Merlin: And also the 17th letter of the ancient Greek alphabet, dates back to 345 BC, where, quote-unquote, Q created an underground resistance based in the city of Corinth, home of Apostle Paul and the Book of Corinthians, okay?
Merlin: I've been there.
Merlin: Yeah.
Merlin: There's a real, real good one in here.
John: Because what they do is they basically... They've tied this all the way.
John: This one poster on slash Paul slash Chan...
Merlin: uh now it's connected to the corinthians yeah yeah yeah yeah like like for the book from the bible i love it um so much so this this entirely credulous third party disinterested person says many say president trump is cute is he is he when i asked the question to all the aunts they chuckled
Merlin: You could be Q and we wouldn't know.
Merlin: But one thing we can tell you is that the president communicates with us.
Merlin: You can see that in his tweets, his speeches.
Merlin: And you can see us coming out of the woodwork at the rallies.
Merlin: We wanted him to say tippy top in a speech to confirm that he was listening.
Merlin: And lo and behold, he mentioned those words in a speech tippy top shape.
Merlin: That was our validation that he was listening.
Merlin: And so we're making sure every human being on this planet hears us, sees us and joins us.
John: Did you ever see the time that Taylor Swift named her new dog because somebody...
John: Got dubs.
John: What?
John: On 4chan.
John: Yeah, she was because apparently like I think it's pretty well documented that Taylor Swift and and who was the who was the man who played Louis on Taxi.
John: Oh, yeah, that's Danny DeVito.
John: Danny DeVito.
John: He was on 4chan a lot.
John: He really liked it over there.
Merlin: He's Frank on Always Sunny in Philadelphia now.
John: Yeah, Frank.
John: Anyway, so Taylor Swift was... But, you know, they're on there, and they're like, I'm a celebrity, but you don't know who, and I'm here now.
John: And then all the channers are like...
John: oh uh prove it and they're like well okay so if anybody you know the the first person to get to get doubles in their uh in their posts number which is a game that they play what does it mean you get 10 people to respond uh no if you get double it's just like every post on all the chans they're all numbered they all have like they're just
John: That's because it's anonymous.
John: They all have the each post has a number like it's a long number.
John: OK.
John: And like a Bitcoin address.
John: Yeah.
John: Right.
John: And the goal is and it's you know and you can try and game it but it's it's pretty random.
John: But the goal is to get the last two numbers of your.
John: number to be doubles okay two two or five five or whatever that's it seems like a virtuous way to spend your time or triples okay quads you know if you're like if you're operating and that gives you that gives you standing in the community when you do that yeah everybody's like dude
John: Dude, nice quads.
John: He had a quad, yes.
John: And the thing is that within the culture, if you get quads on a post, the thing you said in the post then has more credibility.
John: Because of the number they gave you.
John: Well, because of the random number that was generated.
John: Or it's not random because it's successive, right?
John: Oh, so you're kind of blessed at that point.
John: You're blessed, right?
John: Like people will go, well, it's, you know, quads said this.
John: And so therefore you got to have to.
John: And so Taylor Swift supposedly said something like Trips names my dog.
John: And then you got 80 people in there saying like, your dog is named like Fuckface or your dog is named like Butthead or whatever.
John: Each person trying to be the one that gets Trips in their number.
John: And somebody did and the name was like Tippity Top.
John: And then the next day in people magazine, Taylor Swift is like my new dog, tippity top.
John: And it was just random enough.
John: It was, you know, the name wasn't like butt face.
John: It luck.
John: Luckily, the person gave the dog an actual like plausible dog name.
John: That seems indisputable.
John: pretty indisputable because the chance you know 4chan still points to that and says like yep taylor swift she maybe she's still here even though like no one in their right mind is still there except me and i'm not in my right mind clearly it has a bad effect it's a bad place
John: But Q-Chan, I don't want anything to do.
Merlin: I don't go with that side.
Merlin: Yeah, I have some people that I follow.
Merlin: It's not funny, but I have some people that I follow on a list on Twitter who have really deep problems.
Merlin: And I can't stop looking at it.
Merlin: It's people.
Merlin: There's one guy who thinks the people at the grocery store are shooting beams at his head and it's getting worse.
Merlin: Another lady who thinks everybody's poisoned her with cyberspace voodoo.
Merlin: And I can't look away.
Merlin: That's my QQ Chan.
John: I follow a guy from Nigeria who believes that the Igbo tribe is the smartest of all the
John: uh, of all the tribes of Nigeria.
John: Okay.
John: And he's super, super.
Merlin: Is that like being a Yankees fan in Africa?
Merlin: Yeah, pretty much.
John: It's a, you know, like they are the, they're the heart of the cult.
Merlin: Or is it more like being, no, be honest, is it more like being a Yankees fan of like a, like a Cub, like what used to be a Cubs fan?
Merlin: Is it, is he pulling for the underdog?
Merlin: I'm not trying to be racist, but I mean like, is that a controversial POV there?
John: No.
John: Well, I mean, I think within Nigeria, there are going to be people of other groups who are like,
John: But I think it's indisputable.
Merlin: They're riding for their home team.
John: Yeah.
John: I think it's indisputable that the Igbo are like a very, very – they are a cradle of a kind of civilization, right?
John: They have like art and culture.
John: You need that.
John: You need that.
John: Yeah.
John: I think they're maybe predominantly Christian now.
Hmm.
John: Anyway, so he's really an advocate of Igbo culture, and he's super dismissive of anybody that would say anyone else in Nigeria has anything good going on.
John: Interesting.
John: And I just really love his take on things because he runs it through the Igbo filter.
Merlin: I love those kinds of people, too.
Merlin: I mean, now it's Elon Musk.
Merlin: People who constantly find a way to make it about them.
Merlin: Mm-hmm.
John: Oh, is Elon Musk still trying to keep his hand in everything?
Merlin: Everybody wants a hand in this Thai cave situation right now.
Merlin: Oh, the kids in the cave.
John: Are they still in the cave?
Merlin: Oh, my God.
Merlin: My wife is following it very carefully.
Merlin: I can't follow it very carefully because it's making me very upset.
Merlin: But she learned she couldn't sleep one night, so she stayed up learning why it's so difficult to get them out.
Merlin: And it's really, really difficult.
Merlin: They got four out, I think, yesterday or Saturday, and they got another four out like last night.
Merlin: So now it's just four more boys in the coach.
Merlin: But it is not easy.
John: So the president, for example, this is why I do not go deep in caves.
Merlin: Well, no, too soon, too soon.
Merlin: But no, I've never gone in a fucking cave.
Merlin: What are you saying?
Merlin: You can go to a museum and be in a fake cave made out of plaster.
Merlin: It's fine.
John: There you go.
John: They've got a means of aggress.
Merlin: There's a big green sign that says exit.
Merlin: Don't take a soccer team in a cave.
Merlin: Too soon.
Merlin: But now every time I sign off on some permission slip, I'm going to be thinking, you know what I'm saying?
John: Oh, sure.
John: They're going to get in the school bus.
Merlin: They're going to go to the science center.
Merlin: Maybe you're going to the Marine Reserve.
Merlin: You're going to Alcatraz.
Merlin: That's all good.
Merlin: But what happens if there's some kind of fucking cave adventure and I'm not going to see my kid again?
Merlin: So the president jumped in yesterday to let us know that the Americans were working very closely.
Merlin: Who's president?
Merlin: You know.
Merlin: Oh, sorry, Drumpf.
John: I see.
Merlin: Orange avocado pumpkin Drumpf.
Merlin: Release your taxes.
Merlin: What?
Merlin: Here.
Merlin: Payoffs, Michael Cohen.
Merlin: Dumpf.
Merlin: Dumpf.
Merlin: Oh, now you got him.
Merlin: You got him with that one.
Merlin: That last one's where you got him.
Merlin: And then we got Elon Musk, who is increasingly insufferable.
Merlin: You know, he used to be a character on this show.
Merlin: Yeah, I showed my wife a picture of him from 1996 today and she couldn't even recognize him.
Merlin: What does he look like now?
Merlin: It's not what he looks like now, it's what he looked like then that's important.
Merlin: Why don't you search for Elon Musk 1996.
John: Elon Musk 1996.
John: Oh, here's a good one.
Merlin: Here you go.
Merlin: So that's 22, just texted it to you.
Merlin: That's 22 years ago.
Merlin: 22 years ago.
John: All right.
John: Which one of them is Elon Musk?
John: You tell me.
John: I mean, look at the face.
John: Well, it's got to be the balding one in the purple shirt.
John: It's the hair gentleman to our right.
John: Interesting.
Merlin: That's Elon Musk.
Merlin: That's Elon Musk in 1996.
Merlin: Does he have hair now?
Merlin: Yes, he has lots of hair now.
Merlin: Oh, let me see this.
Merlin: Let me see this.
Merlin: He's doing that kind of LeBron James thing, I think.
John: Oh, he's got a... Does LeBron James not have hair and then he got hair?
Merlin: LeBron James.
Merlin: I don't...
Merlin: care about hair it's one of my privileges that i don't care about hair we talked about this this led to a very interesting hair discussion with my wife this morning um but yeah yeah yeah so anyways so he had to chime in and let everybody know that now he's inventing a submarine that'll be able to get the kids out and a several people said on twitter it's kind of like that guy who starts reaching for his wallet after somebody else paid the bill oh you know
John: Did Elon Musk invent PayPal?
John: He co-founded PayPal.
John: What kind of computer is that that they're leaning on that says PayPal?
John: Looks like an old PC to me.
John: 1996.
Merlin: Yeah, they had a lot of dingers.
Merlin: They had Peter Thiel.
Merlin: They had a lot of real good folks working there.
Merlin: And Peter Thiel went on to do what?
Merlin: Crush Gawker.
Merlin: Try to overturn elections.
Merlin: Oh, that guy.
Merlin: Yeah, he's the guy who wants teenagers, teenage boys blood so that he can be allegedly.
Merlin: Oh, sure.
John: The famous one with the blood.
John: Yeah.
Merlin: Okay, so Elon Musk... I think he's the one who says we're going to live forever.
Merlin: Or he'll live forever, let's put it that way.
Merlin: He has become very weird, Elon Musk.
Merlin: He has become very weird.
Merlin: He's become very... Maybe he's always been this way, but he seems increasingly touchy.
Merlin: Touchy's not a good look.
John: No, not if you're a billionaire.
Merlin: Yeah, yeah.
John: I mean, I guess it's not a good look on anybody, but... Have you ever seen the pictures of Justin Trudeau...
John: When he was, like, 20?
John: Oh, yeah.
John: Have you seen those pictures?
John: They're real bad.
John: Where he's, like, wearing a Bob Marley t-shirt.
Merlin: The worst part of it is, I mean, it's like a bad Tim and Eric sketch.
Merlin: And, like, Tim and Eric's idea of what a MOOC looks like is always somebody from, like, the mid-90s.
Merlin: In 2000, Justin Trudeau looks like a mid-90s MOOC.
Merlin: He really is something else.
Merlin: Somebody once told me.
Merlin: Don't do it.
Merlin: Let her L write on her forehead.